


It's Not About Blood

by commanderofcandles



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, au set in the ark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8307949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderofcandles/pseuds/commanderofcandles
Summary: Lexa has always been a bit guarded, but after what happened two years ago, she built her walls so high that she wouldn't let anybody get through them. Could Clarke be the person she needed to trust and love again? Could Clarke be the one to break those walls? Only time will tell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys!  
> back with a story that is half-written I think so updates should be slower  
> hope y'all enjoy though  
> let the fluff begin! (angst will come tho)

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Clarke asked Raven in an exasperated tone.

Her friend quickly averted her eyes. "No reason."

Clarke sighed, knowing something was definitely up with her best friend. She straightened herself up on her bed. "What's wrong? And don't say 'nothing', I know something is up."

Raven sat up on the bed next to her and asked, with a frown on her face, "Aren't you freaking out?"

"About what?" Clarke queried, puzzled.

"About tomorrow," Raven tried to clarify, though it didn't work.

"What about it?"

Raven gave her friend a pointed look and let out huff. "Maybe the fact that our last year of high school starts tomorrow! And that we probably won't have as many classes together…"

Clarke flashed her a reassuring smile. "You don't know that for sure."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because I believe Mr. Pike's exact words were 'I'll make sure you two never end up in the same class ever again'. End of quotation."

Clarke laughed at her friend's imitation of their least favorite teacher and said, "Yeah, I remember. I genuinely thought that vein on his neck was finally going to explode."

Raven let out a light laugh before quickly reverting to frowning. "Seriously, though. I don't know how I'm going to survive a whole year without you."

"Aw come on! It's not like I'm going to the other end of the Ark. We'll see each other all the time." Clarke smiled softly at her.

"Who's gonna imitate ass-Pike while he's writing on the board?"

"Raven," Clarke smirked, "you always find a way not to pay attention in class anyway."

"Yeah, but I'd rather not be paying attention with you."

"Aw." Clarke gave a quick side hug to her friend, enjoying the moment because Raven was usually so sarcastic and self-confident, not like this scared and mushy little puppy she was talking to right now. "There's still a small chance we'll have at least one class together."

"Yeah…" Raven replied quietly, not convinced.

 

//

 

"Come on, Lex! We're gonna be late on the first day!" Anya called to her best friend from the other side of the bedroom door.

"Coming!" Lexa opened the door and quickly rushed to get her bag, which always stayed on the kitchen counter, before heading out, Anya in tow.

"I can't believe my alarm didn't go off. Of all the days it could have happened, it had to be today!" Lexa scoffed.

"Chill out," Anya suggested promptly. Lexa just gave her a pointed look, because she was the one who had been telling her to hurry the hell up not even a minute ago. She hurried her pace anyway, knowing Anya was following close behind.

Lexa lived quite close to the school, so they got there in less than five minutes. Hopefully, they would have time to see what classroom they needed to go to before the bell rang. They each had a lump in their throat as they retrieved their schedules. They both really hoped they would share some classes, and Lexa let out a relieved sigh when she saw she had first period with Anya. She stiffened though, when she noticed that all of their other classes were different.

Anya quickly realized, as well. "Well, at least, we will see each other in first period and at lunch. And don't forget that we still have basketball practice together."

Lexa smiled a little at that as they made their way to first period: history.

Raven and Clarke entered the classroom – arriving late, as usual – laughing at some joke Raven had just made, when they heard their _favorite_ teacher exclaim, "Oh, great! Not only am I the only teacher who has you two in the same class, but you also show up late on the first day. I'll have to make sure that you graduate, so I don't have to see your faces in my classroom ever again."

Lexa perked her head up, surprised that she wasn't the last one to arrive with Anya, but mostly because of the disdain she heard in their history teacher's, Pike's, voice. She noticed a blonde and a brunette standing in the doorway, smirks on both their faces. If she remembered correctly, the brunette's name was Raven, but she couldn't recall the blonde's name. She had seen them several times, but they'd never spoken to each other.

"Glad to see you too, Mister! We missed your class," Raven replied sarcastically.

Clarke laughed and noticed Wells in the front of the classroom, waving at them. Obviously, though, the only seats that remained were at the very back of the classroom. Clarke noticed Anya, who waved at her as well, and a brunette who seemed confused.

_Wow, she's cute._

Clarke didn't know her name, and she couldn't remember ever seeing her before. They must have never had any of the same classes. She heard the brunette whisper to Anya as she sat next to her, Raven sitting to her left, "You know them?"

Anya only nodded and Clarke caught the cute brunette glancing at her. Clarke quickly averted her gaze, but she made eye contact again once she heard the girl greet her with, "Hey, I'm Lexa."

"Clarke," she replied quietly, before glancing away once again.

The brunette returned to focusing on the lesson, and Clarke immediately started talking quietly with Raven, that is until their teacher threatened to already kick them out of his classroom.

Raven smirked, thinking, _It's gonna be a great year._ And just like that, all of her worries from the previous night vanished.

Despite her not paying attention to class and being distracted by Raven's sarcastic comments, Clarke couldn't help but throw sideways glances at Lexa every now and then. The girl seemed to enjoy that class, seeing as she was so assiduously taking notes on everything the teacher said. Her right hand was furiously scribbling on her notebook, impressing Clarke. She, too, liked history, but she couldn't stand their teacher and took pleasure in pissing him off. That's how she had met Raven, in history class. And since then, it had become their thing to annoy the fuck out of him.

As the bell rang, Clarke leaned over the brunette and said, "I feel like shit watching you take all those notes."

_Oh great… Now she knows you were watching her… Creep._

As Lexa was gathering her stuff, she offered, "You could always borrow my notes, if you want."

Clarke shrugged. "That's nice of you, but I feel like that wouldn't be fair to you. I'm not exactly the perfect student here."

Lexa only smiled and proceeded to leave the classroom, calling out to Anya. "I'll see you at lunch?"

Anya nodded and turned to Clarke. "Hey, blondie."

Clarke just smirked. "Anya, you're blonde too."

"Anya!" Raven called. "Still on for movie night on Friday?"

Anya huffed. " _Of course._ How could I say no to a horror movie marathon?"

Clarke chuckled and said, "Alright, see you weirdos later."

As Clarke was making her way toward her next class, she thought it really was a shame that she and Raven only shared one class this year. It was their last year of high school and she really wanted to spend as much time with her friends as she could. At least they shared Pike's class.

Her next period was English. She liked that class too, and hopefully Mrs. Bergman was better of a teacher than Pike was. Clarke entered the classroom and her eyes immediately landed on a certain brunette who she had just spoken to for the first time not five minutes ago. She was surprised that she hadn't ever noticed her before today and that they now suddenly shared two classes. Clarke went to the available seat to the brunette's right.

Lexa noticed the blonde and smiled. "I hope you'll be more focused on this class. You and Raven can be kind of distracting."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Clarke apologized, a bit embarrassed. As much as Raven and she didn't want to disturb the other students from listening, they couldn't help it.

"Hey, Clarke! Looks like we're gonna see each other a lot this year." Clarke tore her gaze away from Lexa and turned to see Wells sitting next to her.

"Hey, Wells! Glad to see you." Clarke smiled. "Oh, and by the way, did Raven tell you about horror movie night on Friday?"

Wells nodded and confirmed that he would be there, though his words were cut off as Mrs. Bergman began talking. She introduced herself for the few people who didn't know her and proceeded to explain what they would have to do this year.

"As you all know, here on the Ark, we'd rather focus on more… _vital_ matters than English. But as your English teacher, and as I noticed there is a certain lack of art within these walls, I suggested organizing a contest. You will work in pairs and will have to produce a piece of art. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece, but it will have to be done carefully, as you'll have the whole year to produce it." Clarke heard enthusiastic cheers as well as some complaints. She found that it was a great idea, especially since she herself liked to draw. "At the end of the school year, all the teachers will choose one specific piece and Chancellor Jaha will announce the winner. Your art will be exposed everywhere on the Ark and you'll get a special prize. The prize hasn't been decided yet, but regardless, I'm sure you will put your hearts to it."

Wells leaned over and whispered to Clarke, suggesting they work together, but Mrs. Bergman interrupted, "I will be the one to decide the partners. And I don't want to hear any complaints about it. It will give you the chance to get to know new people for once."

As she proceeded to pair students up, Clarke really hoped she would end up with Wells, because he was always creative when it came to art and English. Mrs. Bergman pointed to Lexa though, and Clarke found herself smiling anyway. She took it as a chance to get to know the brunette, just as their teacher had suggested. Wells pursed his lips, obviously disappointed, but turned to his partner. Luckily, he had ended up with Jasper, a nice guy that hung out with them sometimes.

Lexa smiled as well, and the teacher gave them the rest of the hour to discuss what they would do for their project. "So, what do you have in mind, partner?"

"I don't know. What are your specials skills when it comes to art?" Clarke raised an eyebrow.

"Um, I don't know if I'm any good, but I write sometimes."

"Really?" Clarke shouldn't be surprised, considering that Lexa had seemed to take good care in taking her notes earlier. "That's great. I draw, so maybe we can combine that into something good?"

Lexa smiled softly at her. They spent the rest of the hour just brainstorming potential ideas for what they could do, and both of them quickly got up to go to next period once the class ended.

Soon, lunchtime came, and Clarke found Raven at their usual table with Wells. It seemed like Jasper had joined them today, with his best friend Monty, and another guy that Clarke didn't know.

"Hey, Clarke! This is Bellamy. He's in my mechanics class." She turned to him. "Bellamy, this is Clarke."

"Hey," he greeted her, a small smile on his face. She replied in the same tone and they all began making small talk about how everyone's day was going.

 

//

 

Bellamy, Jasper, Wells, Raven and Clarke were standing in a hallway, looking at the window across from them and at the Earth in the distance. The planet seemed to be calling for them, as if to say 'I've got so many wonders to show you'. Clarke often found herself dreaming and drawing this mysterious planet and its beautiful landscapes. She could look at her illustrations for hours, thinking that, maybe someday, she would be able to walk on thin grass, enjoy a swim across a lake, or just breathe pure air that wasn't artificially created.

The new addition to the group, Bellamy – who was a really nice guy actually, albeit a little secretive – spoke up, "So, what do you guys have planned for tonight?"

Wells sighed, "Unfortunately, I already got a ton of homework… So, not much except for that."

"That sucks," Clarke sympathized. "I haven't gotten any, though. Anyone want to hang out at my place?"

Jasper declined, "Sorry, I have plans already with Monty. We'll be there on Friday night though."

Raven accepted the offer right away. "I don't have anything planned for the rest of the day, so I'm in."

Clarke looked at Bellamy. "Bellamy? Wanna come?"

"Yeah, why not." He shrugged.

After spending an hour or so just talking about their lives and getting to know Bellamy, everyone decided to go home and just try to study a little. It was better to not get behind in schoolwork on the first day, after all. Clarke mostly doodled on her history notebook, desperate to fill it since it was half empty, half of the notes about what the teacher had said missing. Thinking of history drew her thoughts to Lexa, Clarke found herself smiling when she thought about her, and the project they'd have to do for the entire year. Clarke thought she would very much enjoy spending time with the brunette, and decided that she'd have to ask Anya why she'd never introduced her to them.

She didn't really know Anya all that well, so she figured that was why. But everyone in their little group of friends genuinely liked Anya and Clarke figured they might as well spend more time together. Anya and Lexa might be a great addition to their group, as well as Bellamy.

Clarke decided to leave her bedroom when she heard her father come home later in the evening. He asked her about her first day and, as she told him, it hadn't been as boring as she thought it would be, surprisingly.

"You better enjoy these days, sweetie. I really miss my friends from high school sometimes," Jake said thoughtfully.

Clarke chuckled. "Dad, you know that we are inseparable. It's like we're all glued to each other. We're not going to drift apart anytime soon," Clarke insisted, confident. "Especially because we're all stuck in the same place."

The door of their small apartment opened to reveal Abby Griffin, Clarke's mom, coming back from work. She greeted her husband with a quick peck on the lips and Clarke with a kiss on the forehead.

After mostly repeating what she had already told her dad, the blonde decided to retreat to her room, where she could finish some sketches until her mom called her for dinner.

 

//

 

"So, how was the rest of your first day?" Anya asked her best friend as they sat in Lexa's room, just chilling out and making small talk.

"Not bad," Lexa replied. "Yours?"

"Ugh, lame… I'm stuck with this guy, Murphy, in my IT class and he's such a jerk. Like, he literally introduced himself with 'Hey, Murphy. I'd say nice to meet you, but we all know that it's not true'."

Lexa laughed as Anya mimicked the guy's voice. "That sucks. Maybe he was having a bad day or something."

"I don't care. Who the fuck introduces himself like that?" Anya scoffed.

Trying to change the subject, Lexa asked her friend, "By the way, how come you never introduced me to Raven and Clarke?"

Anya seemed puzzled. "Uh, I don't know. We hung out a couple of times but I don't really know them that much. Why?"

"I don't know. I didn't really speak to Raven, but Clarke seems nice," Lexa answered, lost for a moment in her thoughts of the blonde. She was glad that she was her partner on their English project; she didn't really know anyone else in their English class. They also had their last period together.

"She is," Anya agreed. "They invited me on a movie night on Friday. I'll ask if you can tag along."

Lexa stiffened. "I'd rather you don't do that."

"Why?"

"I don't want to feel like the intruder or something," Lexa explained, but that wasn't the main reason. Despite what she seemed, she was always shy with people she didn't know, and she didn't want to seem like she was boring just because she didn't talk much. She'd rather get to know Raven and Clarke step by step.

"It's your call. But I don't want you to spend your Friday night on your own." Anya was always concerned that Lexa would isolate herself and never come out of her room again.

Lexa smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, I have other friends. I can always hang out with Lincoln."

"Whatever, like I said, it's your call." Anya shrugged.

"Plus, horror movies are not really my thing."

_Shit!_

Anya's eyes narrowed and she asked suspiciously, "I didn't say anything about horror movies."

_Here we go…_

"Fine, I heard Clarke asking that guy, Wells, to come. She said it was a horror movie night." Lexa kept her gaze fixed on her hands, but she could feel Anya's stare piercing through her.

"Uh huh."

"What?" Lexa asked, finally looking up because Anya wouldn't stop eyeing her suspiciously.

"Nothing. I just think it's funny how you're pretending that you don't care and that you don't want to come," Anya snickered.

"I'm not _pretending_." Lexa feigned hurt.

"Sure. Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night."

Lexa threw a pillow at Anya, and the blonde only laughed and started fighting back. But her words kept gnawing at the brunette. What if she really did want to go to the movie night?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi bbies!  
> hope y'all had a nice day! now it's time to chill with some cute clexa fluff  
> this chapter is a bit short, sorry about that  
> hope you enjoy nonetheless!  
> also, can't believe I forgot last time, a huuuuuge thank you to BrittzandTana for editing my chapters! Go read her amazing stories!

When Lexa woke up the next morning, she immediately got out of her bed and headed toward the kitchen to grab breakfast. No way was she going to be late like the previous day. When she was done eating and was in the process of getting dressed, she heard a knock on the door. It was probably Anya – she always came to Lexa's place before school, ever since…

_Don't think about it, Lexa._

Taking in a deep breath, she made her way to the door and opened it to reveal Anya, and her best friend smiled at her. "Ready to go?"

Lexa nodded and quickly gathered the things she needed before she could head off to school. They got to school a few minutes later, and as soon as they entered it, Lexa's eyes caught a glimpse of blonde hair near one of the classrooms. Clarke was leaning against a wall, talking with Raven and Wells, whom she only knew through her English class. Since they had a couple of minutes before the bell rang, Lexa decided to say hi.

Anya beat her to it though, and as soon as she greeted the group, she entered the classroom to sit in the same seat as yesterday. Lexa only waved at the three of them before following her friend. Raven and Wells waved at her and Clarke just smiled. It was the kind of smile that made you feel like you were standing a bit too close to the sun, the kind of smile that warmed your heart and skin in a way only special people could cause.

Lexa sat next to Anya, and soon Clarke and her friends took their seats as well. Clarke sat next to Lexa again and smiled at her. "I see you're ready to take notes."

She glanced at all the pens that were displayed on Lexa's desk with her eyes. The brunette blushed a little and tried to explain, "Yeah, that's just something I do all the time. I always have several pens in case the one I write with doesn't write anymore."

Clarke just kept smiling at her, her blue eyes never leaving green ones. "You know you could always ask someone if they have an extra pen, right? Or just have one extra pen, not half a dozen." Her smile turned into a smirk as she looked at all the identical pens on Lexa's desk.

"What can I say? I like to be prepared." Lexa shrugged, though her blush only increased. She knew it was ridiculous, really, but she couldn't help it. Ever since… She always took extra precautions for everything. That's why she had also been so nervous when her alarm hadn't gone off the previous day.

Clarke didn't reply as she turned to face Raven, who was starting to talk to her. The teacher entered the classroom and started to speak as soon as the bell rang. Lexa couldn't help but glance at the two people on her left from time to time. She noticed Clarke was paying way more attention to the lesson than the previous day. Raven seemed to be bored as hell, but the blonde managed to both take notes and distract her friend a bit.

At the end of the lesson, Anya suggested that they all have lunch together and Raven nodded that she agreed. Lexa didn't gather up her stuff particularly quickly for her next class, waiting for Raven to get out of the classroom so that she could ask Clarke, "Walk with me to next period?"

Clarke perked her head up to look at her and smirked. "We have next period together anyway."

Lexa blushed, shrugging the comment off. "Yeah, well, nothing says that we have to walk together."

Clarke smiled as she rolled her eyes, joking sarcastically, "Yeah, and I'd much rather walk on my own even though we're going to the same place."

They started off to their English class, and Lexa asked, curious, "Did you finally decide to pay attention to the history lesson?"

Clarke rolled her eyes again, though her lips curved up a little. "You only saw me yesterday, and I'm not always so keen on disturbing the lesson." She looked at the brunette and added, "Though it's true that I'm not always very focused in class."

"I figured." Lexa smiled, before frowning. "Is it because of what I said yesterday?" Clarke flashed her a questioning look and she clarified, "About you and Raven being distracting? Because I was only joking."

"Well, I just thought it might be easier for you to stay focused if Raven and I weren't always laughing out loud and whispering to one another."

Lexa chuckled. "I don't mind, really. I actually found myself smiling a couple of times at Raven's jokes yesterday."

Clarke laughed. "Don't tell her that! Or she'll constantly annoy you every time she comes up with a new joke about Pike."

They sat at their respective places, next to each other, and Wells came to sit next to Clarke. Mrs. Bergman began her lesson and, once or twice, Lexa caught Clarke glancing at her multiple pens and she smiled. She'd had forgotten them the previous day, in her rush to arrive on time. But today, she had made sure to have every single one of them. She didn't think that Clarke was making fun of her though – well, not too much anyway – and that reassured Lexa a little. If the blonde was going to get to know her, she would find out soon enough that Lexa was actually a freak, but a nice one.

The bell rang once again, and Lexa heard Wells ask Clarke, "Hey, Clarke. What are you doing tonight?"

She did her best not to pry as she gathered her stuff, but they were right next to her so she heard the conversation anyway.

"I don't know. Drawing, I guess. Why? Do you have something in mind?"

"My dad wanted to ask your dad to watch a game together tonight, so I was wondering if you could come."

"Yeah, sure." Lexa heard the blonde's reply.

When Wells exited the classroom, Lexa asked the blonde. "So, when are we going to see each other for the project? Do you want us to work on it this weekend or…?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'm not doing anything this weekend." Clarke paused before offering hesitantly. "By the way, do you have plans for Friday?" Lexa shook her head as a reply, already knowing what was coming. "Well, we're having a horror movie marathon. You're welcome to join if you want. Anya will be there."

Lexa hesitated, but she decided to decline. "I'm not really a fan of horror movies…"

"That's okay. Neither am I. I usually just cover my eyes and scream during the whole movie." Seeing as the brunette didn't reply, Clarke added, "Just think about it. And if you change your mind, I live just a few halls from here, near the clinic. My door says Griffin on it, with a little red cross, because my mom's a doctor."

Lexa realized suddenly that the blonde's last name was, in fact, Griffin. "Oh, right! You're Abby's daughter."

Clarke raised a questioning eyebrow. "You know my mom?"

Lexa chastised herself internally and even more when she stuttered on her words. "Well I… Not really, I mean…" She got a hold of herself and said, more confidently. "I just broke my arm once, and I remember that she was the one to take care of me," Lexa lied. Another reason to not go to that movie marathon on Friday night. She didn't want Clarke's mom to recognize her and ask questions in front of everyone.

"Oh, okay," Clarke answered, sounding a little suspicious about why Lexa seemed very uneasy all of a sudden.

"I gotta go. See you in seventh period?"

As Clarke nodded her head, Lexa quickly escaped the classroom, completely aware of the fact that the blonde was staring at her back.

 

//

 

"Clarke? Are you even listening to me?" Raven snapped at her, pulling Clarke away from her thoughts.

"Huh?" She looked at Raven as if she had just been shaken awake.

"What's going on with you? You seem… elsewhere."

"No, sorry. I was just thinking about the English project we have to do." Lie. Clarke was thinking back to Lexa's weird behavior when the blonde's mom had come up in the conversation. She had immediately seemed to stiffen and the blonde had never seen her so closed. However, Clarke reminded herself that she had only known her for less than a day. And they hadn't even spoken to each other that much. Yet, something felt off about the brunette and Clarke was determined to know what it was.

When Clarke and Raven finally got their plates, they sat at their usual table where Bellamy, Jasper and Monty were already seated. Wells joined soon after and Clarke saw Raven wave at someone. She turned to see who it was and saw Anya waving back, Lexa standing behind her. Anya sat next to Wells and Lexa took the remaining seat, on Clarke's right. She smiled a little at the blonde before she and Anya greeted everyone. Clarke couldn't help but notice that Lexa seemed nervous, almost as if she was scared of something. Lexa noticed that the blonde was staring and Clarke instantly averted her eyes, joining in the conversation that had picked up upon Anya and Lexa's arrival.

Later, Lexa was waiting patiently for seventh period to begin when she caught a glimpse of blonde hair entering the classroom. She smiled when Clarke sat next to her again. It couldn't be a coincidence that they shared _three_ classes and that they had to do a project together. It had to mean something, right?

Lexa didn't have time to pursue her train of thought, nor talk with the blonde, since as the bell rang, the teacher immediately started speaking.

The final bell rang, much to everyone's relief, once the class finally ended and Clarke gathered her things and offered to Lexa, "Do you wanna hang out at my place? Maybe you could help me out with that essay for Pike?" Clarke didn't want the brunette to feel like she only wanted to hang out to work, but she couldn't think of any other excuses.

Lexa sighed. "I would love to, but I have basketball practice with Anya."

Clarke's eyes widened in surprise. "You're on the basketball team? Wow, that's impressive! They're very selective. Congrats!"

"Thanks!" Lexa smiled brightly. She was always so proud of herself for making the team, and she was actually the youngest one to have ever made it. Plus, she also happened to be the captain. She wasn't one to brag so she, though, didn't tell that to Clarke, or to anyone that didn't know for that matter.

Clarke shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another, trying and failing to hide the nervousness that she felt when she was around the brunette. "So, I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yep, you will." Lexa nodded, smiling.

Clarke wished her good luck with practice and then Lexa made her way to the very small gymnasium. Everything seemed small on the Ark. No matter where you stood, enclosed spaces were everywhere. Lexa had heard that Raven wanted to work in zero g, where there was endless space, and Lexa envied her. That's also part of why she had wanted so bad to be part of the basketball team. At the end of practice, it was a ritual of theirs to just turn off the gravity, and let the team relax in the air. It was when she was flying into the air that she felt free, and at peace. Plus, she loved sports, so it was her safe heaven. She completely understood Raven's need to be freed from these walls.

Suddenly, Lexa was startled by two hands covering her eyes. "Guess who?" Anya. Of course.

On her way home that night, Lexa ran into Clarke and her parents, probably heading off to the _Chancellor's_ apartment. In seventeen years, Lexa had never even seen Clarke, and now it was as if she was everywhere at once.

Clarke spotted the brunette and made her way towards her, telling her parents she would meet them in a few minutes. "Finished practice?"

"Yeah, I'm going home," Lexa answered, relieved that Clarke's parents hadn't seen her. "You're going out with your parents?" Lexa pretended she didn't already know.

Clarke nodded. "We're gonna watch an old baseball game that my dad and Jaha have probably already watched a thousand times already," she explained, rolling her eyes.

"Jaha? Oh right, Chancellor Jaha! I'm not used to hear his name."

"And I'm not used to call him Chancellor." Clarke chuckled.

There was an awkward pause before Lexa broke the silence. "I'll leave you to your game, then. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you." Clarke waved her hand at the brunette, and as Lexa continued walking down the long hallway, Clarke's blue eyes followed her until she disappeared around one of the corners. Clarke had never felt so confused about anyone. There was something… compelling about the green eyed brunette.

_What's going on with me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed guys!  
> lemme know your thoughts through comments and/or kudos  
> also, you can come and yell at me about my slow updates on Tumblr @commanderofcandles or on Twitter @schtroumpfie_31 or just tell me if you liked this or what you think is gonna happen or just come yell at me about whatever my DMs are always open  
> thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
> don't have much time bit wanted to update this real quick  
> hope y'all have a nice weekend!  
> thanks again to BrittzandTana for editing this

"What's up weirdos?" Raven asked when she reached their table for lunch. Wells and Jasper snorted at the nickname and Bellamy just smiled.

"Nothing. Bellamy just said that he doesn't know if he can make it to movie night tomorrow," Monty explained.

"Really? Why?" Raven sounded disappointed. They didn't know him very well, but he really seemed like a nice guy. She figured Friday would give everyone the chance to get to know each other, especially Anya and Bellamy.

"My mom isn't doing so great lately. I don't really want to leave her alone." He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic, so Raven decided to drop it.

"Well, if she gets better, you know where to find us." She paused before adding, "I really hope she gets better." She flashed him a sympathetic smile.

Anya and Lexa arrived at the table simultaneously and Lexa immediately noticed that Clarke wasn't there yet. It had become a routine in the last couple of days, for all of them to sit together at lunch, and everyone seemed to get along.

_Looks like our little group has grown bigger,_ Raven thought, smiling.

"Where's Clarke?" Lexa couldn't hold back the question after a while.

Jasper replied, "I think she went home after third period. She told me she was feeling sick."

Raven snorted. "Probably just an excuse to hang out at the clinic with her mom."

Jasper flashed her a knowing smile. "Yeah, probably."

 

// 

 

Wednesday had gone by in a flash for Lexa, between practice and homework, which had started to intensify, she hadn't had a single minute to herself. Fortunately, Thursday was seeming to be much calmer.

As the day went by, Lexa found herself feeling pretty hopeful since none of her classes had been assigning homework. Maybe she would finally have some time after practice today.

Practice was really effective; everyone seemed to be completely in sync, and Lexa had hope for their game the following week.

After a really quick shower – because water on the Ark was very precious, some days they didn't even get to shower after practice – Lexa made her way to the exit to go back to her place. Anya had a family dinner that night, so she had already left. The brunette stopped dead in her tracks though when she spotted blue eyes looking at her. Clarke was sitting on the last row of the few of bleachers the gymnasium had.

The blonde smiled at her and Lexa went to sit next to her. "What are you doing here? I thought you were sick."

"Nah, that was just an excuse to help my mom at the clinic." Clarke smiled shyly and looked at her feet.

"You want to be a doctor?"

"Yeah, that's my dream. Well, one of them anyway."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "What are the others?"

Clarke looked up at her and flashed her a knowing smile. "Maybe someday I'll tell you about it."

Was the blonde flirting with her? It looked like it anyway. That thought made Lexa stiffen.

_You can't think like that. Hell, you're b_ lushing _. You can't feel like that._

_Like what?_ She asked herself. Like maybe she was crushing on the blonde? It wasn't a bad thing. Except that in her mind, it was, it _really_ was.

"Say, are you busy right now?" Clarke asked after a moment of silence.

Lexa wasn't sure how to answer for a moment, but she decided to be honest with the blonde. "Nope. Why?"

"I thought that maybe we could hang out at my place since, we didn't get to the other day," Clarke suggested, averting her eyes once again. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Lexa was hesitant. Hastily, she added, "Or not… We don't have to. It's just that, since you're not coming tomorrow night, I thought maybe we could do something together today."

"It's not that I don't want to…" Lexa paused once again and Clarke stared at her. "Um, I mean… Yeah, okay. But I'd rather hang out at my place."

Clarke raised her eyebrows in surprise, but didn't question it. "Yeah okay, sure. Whatever works for you," she said with a smile.

Clarke followed the brunette to her place. She noticed that it was unusually small. Maybe it was the fact that Clarke's apartment was bigger due to her mom being a member of the Council, but even Raven's apartment wasn't as small as Lexa's.

"Your parents aren't home?" she immediately queried.

"No." _It's not technically a lie, is it?_ Lexa wondered.

The blonde glanced at her new surroundings. Lexa's apartment was indeed excessively small, she had a hard time believing three people lived here. She noticed Lexa glancing at her, and the brunette finally asked, "So, what do you wanna do?"

Clarke had literally no clue, and ended up asking what she hated to be asked herself. "I got curious the other day, when you said you liked to write. I was thinking that maybe you could show that to me?" She backtracked when the brunette opened her mouth only for no words to come out. After all, she hated when people asked if they could see her drawings, some were very personal to her. "You don't have to! I was just curious, that's all."

Lexa averted her eyes. "No, it's fine really. Especially since we have that project to do anyway. I guess it makes sense that I show you what type of things I write." She made eye contact with the blonde and smirked. "But you'll have to show me your drawings."

"Wanna play it like that, huh? I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Clarke smirked for a moment before freezing, realizing the words that had just escaped from her mouth.

_You did_ _not_ _just say that._

Except that she did, and by the redness of Lexa's cheeks, she had interpreted the exact way Clarke dreaded.

"Wow, that sounded really bad. Sorry," Clarke apologized, looking at her feet, embarrassed.

Lexa let out a nervous laugh and motioned for the blonde to follow her to her room. "Sorry, it's a mess."

"It's fine. You should see my room, it's way worse than this." Clarke wasn't one for cleaning and tidying – she always had stuff spread everywhere. But it was her mess, so she didn't mind.

What shocked her the most though, was that Lexa's room was even smaller than the kitchen, which she didn't think was possible at this point. The brunette had decorations hanging everywhere on the walls though, with photos of Anya and other people that Clarke didn't recognize, and that made the room somehow feel like a great place to hang out in, despite its size.

"Just make yourself comfortable while I look for my notebooks."

Clarke just sat on the bed and looked at the pictures on Lexa's wall. Anya was in a lot of them, so was a guy named Lincoln from their school. "I haven't seen Lincoln at school so far this week," Clarke pointed out, curious as to where the boy was.

Once again, Lexa was surprised that Clarke knew him. "He was busy taking care of his uncle. Well, he's not his real uncle, but Lincoln treats him as if he was. Luckily, he's feeling better now, so he should be back tomorrow," Lexa explained, while searching through her shelves. "Fuck, where did I put them?" the brunette asked herself rhetorically.

Once she found them, she let out a small victorious puff and went to sit next to Clarke on her bed. "Before you see these, I just want to say that nobody was supposed to ever read any of it. It was mostly for myself and just... random things I thought of." She handed the notebooks to Clarke and added before letting go, "And please, be honest. If it sounds like shit, just say it."

Clarke doubted that she would think it was shit, but she nodded anyway. She felt incredibly lucky and grateful that Lexa was willing to show her work to her, even more considering that nobody else seemed to have seen that. As she flipped through the pages, Clarke found herself more and more captivated by what Lexa had written. It was mostly made up stories, sometimes small things that had happened during her day, making it feel like it was a diary that Clarke had no right to see. Clarke mostly concentrated on the fiction, because she felt like looking at other stuff was prying too much.

She smiled throughout reading and even laughed a few times. Then, she closed the first notebook and resisted the urge to grab and read the second one. Instead, her blue eyes found emerald ones and she smiled. "Lexa, this is amazing! I mean, I was so captivated! You definitely have to write an entire book."

Lexa let out a relieved sigh, visibly relaxing, and stated sheepishly, "I wish I could. These are just random things, I don't have the talent to write a book consistently enough."

Clarke huffed. "Are you kidding me? You're talented as fuck! I would pay millions to read more of that." She pointed to the notebooks. She saw a light blush creeping up onto Lexa's cheeks and smiled at how adorably cute the girl was.

"Thanks, but that's not necessary. I can lend them to you if you want. As long as you promise not to tell anyone, especially Anya. She's begged me to let her read those for years. She would be so pissed at me if she knew that I let you read them." It was incredible how much she had come to trust the blonde in only a few days. She felt as though she could tell her anything, and the blonde would never judge. Lexa wasn't the type of people who spoke much about their life though, and even if she felt like she could, she wouldn't let Clarke know of all the shit she had gone through. Anya and Lincoln were the only ones who knew, and it wasn't because Lexa had told them, they simply knew her when all of that happened. She was grateful to have them. They were her family, and they had supported her every step of the way, even when Lexa had pushed them away and said horrible things to them, they hadn't given up on the brunette. Lexa was ready to do the same for them anytime they needed her.

That's why after an hour or so of just talking to Clarke, Lexa got up and said, "I'm sorry, I'm having a great time with you, but I have to go see Lincoln. Just to check if he's okay."

The blonde got up as well. "Of course, I hadn't realized it's already been nearly an hour and a half."

When Lexa had closed the door of her apartment behind her, she turned around and made the blonde promise to show her her drawings.

"Ah… You know, they're not really that good." Clarke gulped nervously.

"No turning back now, Clarke. I showed you my notebooks, it's your turn. I expect to see them this weekend," the brunette flashed her a smile. "Plus, I'm sure they're great and that I'm gonna be amazed at how incredible they are."

"I wouldn't bet my life on that." Clarke chuckled nervously, but genuinely smiled at the brunette.

They quickly parted ways and Lexa made her way to Lincoln's apartment. He was the only one of her friends who was eighteen, so he got to live by himself. He'd tried to get his own place as quickly as possible, because he didn't get along with his parents at all and had desperately wanted to get out of his house which hadn’t ever felt like home to him.

Lincoln's apartment was as small as Lexa's, so when she knocked on the door, he opened it almost instantly. "Hi, Lex. What's up?" He stepped aside to allow her to enter and closed the door.

"Not much. Just boring stuff, you know." She noticed the easel in the corner of the room and the stains on Lincoln's shirt. She had probably interrupted him while he was painting. She knew he didn't mind though, so she didn't say anything about it, cutting right to the chase instead. "So, how's Nyko doing?"

"Better," he replied with a smile as he wiped his stained hands with a towel. Lexa thought she should introduce him to Clarke. They were both nice people and they had a common interest, drawing. Plus, Lincoln was obviously really great at finding art supplies that he could share with the blonde. Maybe they would even start dating and she would get over her crush on the blonde. She had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy though.

"Great. Is he gonna handle being on his own now?" Lexa missed Lincoln at school. It was admirable that he was willing to help Nyko recover from his injuries, but he still needed to go to class. She trusted that Nyko had told him that countless times already.

"Yes. Indra is finally done working on farm station so she's back to help him recover. If everything goes smoothly, he'll be back at work in no time," Lincoln stated, motioning for them to sit at the chairs around the small table sitting in the room.

"Great. That's true friendship goals. After twenty years, they're still there for each other." Lincoln nodded his head in agreement and Lexa continued, "It's amazing what you've done for him. Not many people would have done that."

Lincoln just shrugged. "He's like family. I couldn't let him on his own, and you know people can't stay at the clinic for too long."

They spent the rest of the evening just talking and laughing, and Lexa ended up staying at Lincoln's for dinner. They often did that, considering they were both on their own. They were grateful to have each other. They, too, were like family.

_Family isn't about blood_ , Lexa thought. It was in supporting each other no matter what that you found true family. Hers was gone, and she was so grateful that she wasn't on her own in spite of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright babies, hope you enjoyed! (sorry it's a bit short tho)  
> lemme know your thoughts, and also you can find me on Tumblr @commanderofcandles


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> movie night, a tiny bit of braven/bellaven, and another tiny bit of clexa fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!  
> sorry to leave you hanging like this, but college will be the death of me lol  
> new chapter tonight! also longer, yay  
> hope you enjoy!

"What do you mean Lexa and Bellamy aren't coming?" Raven asked her best friend during first period. Ass-Pike turned around to glare at her. "Sorry," Raven apologized, before turning back to her friend and noticing that Lexa was glancing at her.

"Well, Bellamy needs to take care of his mom, and Lexa…" Clarke trailed off, looking at the brunette to her right.

Lexa sighed and looked at the both of them, interrupting her notes for a minute. "I don't particularly like horror movies." She hoped that the girls would leave it at that. She knew that was unlikely, however, considering that she was talking to Raven, the most stubborn girl that had ever existed.

"I don't care if you like them or not, you're coming!" Raven exclaimed. She smirked when she saw that Anya was nodding behind Lexa.

" _Raven_! You even manage to distract the brilliant students from paying attention in my class!" Pike chastised her, and she scowled instantly, turning to face him from where she sat. "I want to see you at the end of the lesson."

" _Of course,_ " Raven muttered. The teacher just threw one last glare at her before going back to whatever he'd been saying before being interrupted.

They kept quiet for the rest of the class, but Lexa didn't pay attention to what was being said after that. She was really considering going to that movie marathon now. She really wanted to get to know everyone, not just Clarke. Only, the brunette didn't want Lincoln to be alone tonight. They had made plans already and she didn't want to cancel on him. Since it was Clarke who was hosting the movie night, she passed her a note.

Clarke grabbed it hastily and read.

**Is it okay if Lincoln comes too? I know you guys don't really know him, but he's really nice. I had plans with him already and I don't want to cancel on him.**

Clarke gave her the thumbs up and Lexa smiled. That was it then, she was going to Clarke's tonight. And she was going to have a great time.

 

//

 

_Knock knock knock!_

Nothing.

"Lincoln?" Lexa called through the door.

Still nothing.

_Maybe he's at Nyko's_ , Lexa thought, until she suddenly heard someone approaching from behind her. She turned around to see Lincoln coming her way.

"Looking for me, Lex?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to come to a horror movie marathon with me tonight. I didn't see you at lunch, so I couldn't tell you, but Anya and I are both invited and you're welcome to join as well," Lexa offered.

Lincoln raised his eyebrows. "Who's gonna be there?"

"Well, I think you already know Bellamy." Lincoln nodded. "There's also Raven, Clarke, Wells and a couple of other people too."

"Wells? As in the Chancellor's son?"

"Yep." Lexa was probably as nervous as he was at the idea of hanging out with Wells. Even though he seemed like a nice guy, he was still the _Chancellor's_ son. "He's cool though," she said, trying to reassure Lincoln and not wanting to scare him off. She laughed internally at that, because with his more than well-built body, she couldn't imagine Lincoln being scared of anything.

"Okay, I'm in. I don't want to end up alone anyway."

"Great!" Lexa exclaimed. "Then, you can come by my place by eight and we'll walk to Clarke's place together." She smiled and turned around, ready to go back to her apartment to get ready for the night.

 

//

 

"Wait a minute," Raven said to Bellamy as they walked to the boy's home, "I thought you said you weren't coming because your mom wasn't feeling so great." Now Raven was confused. That was what Clarke had told her, and now Bellamy was telling her he already had plans with someone else.

"Yeah, when I told you I had plans, I meant with her."

"Oh, okay. It just sounded like it was with some friends or maybe some girl." Why did Raven feel relief flooding through her as she realized that he wasn't going out with some random girl?

Raven felt guilty almost instantly, because Bellamy could only not come because his mother was feeling depressed, and he wanted to be there for her. She shouldn't be so selfish and feel so relieved that her crush wasn't dating anyone else. If anything, she should support him for just being a good son.

"Do you want me to hang out with you tonight? We could distract your mom by watching a comedy or something," Raven offered.

Bellamy smiled as they reached his apartment's door. "That's nice of you to offer, but I don't think that's a good idea. I think my mom would rather it be just the two of us. Have fun with everyone tonight. I'll see you all on Monday."

"You sure?" Raven insisted as Bellamy was starting to leave. She didn't like the idea of all of them hanging out while he'd be at home on his own – well not quite alone, but a depressed mother wasn't exactly the most pleasant company ever.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks for the offer though. I really appreciate it." He placed a soft kissed on Raven's cheek, and she instantly blushed a bright red.

"Well then, I better get going. See you." She waved at him and turned on her heel, hoping that he hadn't noticed the blush. She needed to talk to Clarke. ASAP.

 

//

 

"When are the others coming?" Raven asked Clarke, as she began picking a selection of horror movies they could watch.

"In half an hour," Clarke replied while she finished her drawing. It was a drawing of Anya and Lexa at their practice. That image hadn't left her mind since she had seen them practicing, so she had decided to put it down on paper in the form of a drawing. She sat behind the kitchen counter, on one of the bar stools, so Raven couldn't see what she was drawing. If she knew, Clarke wouldn't ever hear the end of it.

"Is Bell coming?" the blonde finally queried as she remembered that her friend had told her she would talk to him.

"No, he really can't…" Raven answered. She paused and stopped going through the stacks of DVDs in order to look at her blonde friend from the other end of the living room. "About Bellamy…"

"Yeah?" Clarke encouraged her to continue, though she didn't look up from her drawing.

"I kind of…"

Upon hearing the hesitance in her best friend's voice, Clarke finally looked up, only to see her fidgeting with her fingers and looking uncomfortably at the multiple DVDs laid out in front of her. Clarke wondered why she'd been acting so nervous lately. "You kind of what?"

Raven glanced briefly at her and Clarke instantly figured it out. How had she not noticed this before? "You like him?" she asked, even though she was sure that she already knew the answer.

As Raven replied with a quiet, "Maybe...", Clarke put her drawing into her sketchbook and got up, joining her friend on the floor.

"Aw, that's cute."

"Except that I'm pretty sure he's not interested," Raven muttered, sounding defeated.

"You don't know that." Clarke patted her friend on the back, knowing that although she usually didn't like those kinds of things, it looked like she needed the touch right now. "Is he single?"

"I don't really know. I guess he is; because he hasn't mentioned any girlfriend."

Clarke nodded. "You want my advice?"

Raven threw her a pointed look. "I wouldn't tell you about it if I wasn't looking for advice."

Clarke shrugged off the sarcasm in her voice and stated, "Ask him out this weekend, or next week. Maybe just suggest that you hang out or watch a movie. He would be crazy not to say yes if he's available."

"How do I do that?" Raven's voice almost sounded like a whine. "Do I just show up at his house like 'Hey! I like you! We should go out sometime!'?"

"No, silly." Clarke chuckled. "I don't know, just wait until Monday, if you want, and ask for help with studying or something. You guys share a class right? Use that as an excuse to hang out."

Raven just shrugged, still not sure about what Clarke was suggesting, and returned her attention back to the DVDs. Clarke went back to where she'd left her sketchbook and went back to focusing on her drawing. They just made small talk while waiting for the others to arrive.

The first ones to arrive were Jasper and Monty. Then, Anya and Wells arrived almost simultaneously. Only Lincoln and Lexa were missing.

 

//

 

"Aren't you worried that Doctor Griffin will gonna be there?" Lincoln asked Lexa as they were heading to Clarke's.

"Anya told me Clarke's parents weren't supposed to be there tonight. They're having dinner with the Chancellor. I'm hoping to go home before they get back." Lexa wasn't sure about that. She really wanted to have as much fun as possible tonight, but she dreaded the possibility of seeing Abby.

"You know that during a movie night, you're supposed to stay the night, right?" Lincoln smirked at her, raising his eyebrows with concern.

"I'll figure something out," Lexa muttered as they finally reached Clarke's front door. Lexa knocked and the door swung open almost immediately, revealing a beaming Raven.

"Lexa! Glad you decided to join!" She briefly hugged the brunette and smiled at Lincoln. "Welcome to Horror Movie Night!"

"Can't wait." Lincoln smiled and followed Lexa inside after Raven had stepped aside to let them in.

"Great, you're here! Now we can start. Raven picked five movies, you guys get to choose which one we start with!" Clarke exclaimed, a grin plastered on her face.

"What?" Anya asked, confused. "Since when do you get to choose anything when you show up late?"

"Well, since Lincoln and Lexa are the newbies here, they have some privileges." Clarke winked at them – well, mostly Lexa, whose cheeks turned a pale shade of pink.

"I could get used to that," Lincoln replied, smiling.

"Oh don't get your hopes up, it won't last." Raven snorted. She gathered the five DVDs and displayed them on the table for the 'newbies' to choose.

They had the choice between Conjuring, Annabelle – of course, Insidious 2 and 3 and Paranormal Activity 4. Lexa didn't know anything at all about horror movies, so she turned to Lincoln in surrender. "You pick. I don't know any of them."

Clarke was stunned. "What? Oh, come on. Even Paranormal Activity?"

"I just know that it's not _that_ scary." Lexa smiled shyly, uncomfortable because all eyes were suddenly on her.

Raven huffed. "We'll see about that when you pee in your pants while watching it."

"Oh, I would love to see that." Lincoln smirked at Lexa. "Then, Paranormal Activity we shall watch."

Lexa grunted as Raven put the movie on happily.

Clarke stated, "We'll watch all of them anyway."

Wells, Jasper and Monty were already spread on some cushions on the floor and Lincoln joined them. That left the couch for the four girls, and it was relatively small. They basically ended up sitting hip to hip. Raven settled between Anya and Clarke, leaving only a small spot on Clarke's left. Lexa sat there carefully, aware that she seemed very embarrassed and stiffened.

As the movie progressed, Lexa began to feel proud, because except for she and Lincoln, everyone else seemed to be scared as fuck, even when it was very predictable. Halfway through the movie, even she was startled by one of the jump scares on the giant screen, and she felt Clarke grabbing her arm and holding onto it for dear life. The blonde progressively grew closer to her, almost imperceptibly, and Lexa did her best not to smile. Needless to say, she didn't pay very much attention to the rest of the movie, focusing instead on the warmth of Clarke's body so close against hers. At some point, she felt Clarke's thumb moving slowly against her forearm, and she couldn't prevent her lips from curving up slightly. Her heart rate picked up and she felt her stomach churning a little. She wondered if the blonde was even aware of the effect she had on her.

She caught Raven looking at her with a smirk and she blushed, averting her eyes and focusing back on the movie. She hoped the darkness of the room would hide her blush, because she tended to do that a lot around Clarke.

At some point, Clarke turned slightly to her, "I thought you didn't like horror movies."

"I don't," Lexa confirmed, glancing at her from the corner of her eye.

"How come you're not peeing in your pants like the rest of us?" Clarke asked, smiling a half smile.

Lexa shrugged. "I guess I'm not a pussy like the rest of you guys are."

Lexa laughed brightly as Clarke slapped her arm playfully, and they went back to watching the movie.

They went for two movies and a half like this, none of them moving, just interrupting with some snarky comments from time to time to criticize the movies – mostly Anya, Jasper and Raven, who were also the most scared of the group. Lexa felt Clarke shiver several times and she couldn't help but smile at how cute the blonde was.

Halfway through the third movie, Jasper, Monty and Anya claimed that they were too hungry to be scared anymore, and Clarke gathered up all of their dehydrated space food – it tasted as bad as it sounded, honestly. Today was not rationed, because it was Friday and the Chancellor had agreed that everyone should celebrate the weekends. Once everything was ready, they decided to eat before putting the movie back on, so they could have the chance to actually talk to each other.

They all made an effort to include Lincoln in the conversation, and it turned out that he was a prefect addition to their group. Clarke was glad to see that Lexa seemed to have fun, and that she was actively participating in the conversation and bantering as well.

Raven smirked to herself, because the situation between Clarke and Lexa was freaking hilarious. The blonde was staring at the brunette, looking away as soon as the brunette moved her head, and Lexa was doing exactly the same. Raven was convinced that neither of them had the slightest idea of what was going on. If she wasn't so disgusted by their cute obliviousness, she would have called them adorable. Almost.

After eating, they quickly washed the dishes and resumed their current movie, Conjuring. Unfortunately, they didn't stay awake to see the end of the fifth – and last – movie, but Clarke woke up at the sound of the front door opening, and her mother giggling while talking to her father, obviously tipsy. Clarke yawned and got up, pushing Raven's legs away from her and eliciting a groan from her friend.

"Did you have fun with Jaha?" Clarke whispered. Her parents' eyes were blurry. Alcohol was prohibited on the Ark, except on some special occasions, so if Jaha had allowed them all to drink, it must have been a pretty fun night.

"Yeah, it was fun," her dad whispered back, stumbling over his own words. He motioned toward his and Abby's room. "It's really late. We'll let you sleep and we'll do the same."

Clarke muttered a weak 'okay' as her parents entered their bedroom. She let out a small squeal as she was vigorously pulled into her own bedroom. Raven closed the door behind them, before letting go of the blonde's arm.

"Raven, what the fuck?" Clarke asked in a loud whisper, grumpy because all she wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"How come you didn't tell me?" Raven whispered right back at her.

"Tell you what?"

"That you like Lexa, duh!"

Clarke quickly put her hand over her friend's mouth, hushing her. At this point, Raven was no longer whispering.

"She's just in the other room!" The blonde quietly scowled.

"Sorry," Raven apologized, though she was clearly not sorry in the slightest.

"And what are you talking about? I don't like her," Clarke denied, though she was blushing. She hoped that Raven couldn't see it in the darkness of her room.

"Yes, you totally do. You don't get all defensive for nothing. And you two are so obvious, it's actually painful to watch." Raven gave her a knowing smile.

"What? No!"

"Stop looking so surprised." Raven was really starting to get annoyed. Why wouldn't the blonde just tell her the truth? After all, they had always told each other everything. And Raven had just confessed her crush on Bellamy to her. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. You were almost drooling while staring at her."

"I _was not_." Clarke was worried that if Raven had noticed, others could have noticed as well. What if Lexa had caught her staring? She would probably think she was some kind of creep and get weirded out.

"Clarke, don't be like this. Plus, it's obvious she likes you too." Raven broke into a smile, opting to reassure the blonde instead of getting angry at her. _They would make a great couple,_ she thought.

Before Clarke could say anything back, the door swung open quietly, and Lexa came in with sleepy eyes. "Guys, what are you whispering about in here?"

Lexa's sleepy voice had suddenly become Clarke's new favorite sound. She saw Raven smirk in the corner of her eye and she blushed even more. Clarke wasn't one to blush easily, except when it came to Lexa, apparently.

"Nothing. Let's just go back to sleep."

Lexa nodded at Clarke and returned to the couch, while Raven mocked, "Oh, yeah. Let's just go back to sleep together, Lexa." Clarke punched her in the arm hastily, and Raven winced. "Ouch."

None of them had even bothered to change into pajamas. Needless to say, it wasn't particularly comfortable, but at least the girls slept on the couch and not on the floor. _Or not,_ Clarke thought when she saw that Anya had fallen asleep on the floor too, next to Lincoln.

Raven quickly joined them, winking at Clarke and nodding her head towards the couch, because only Lexa remained. Clarke sighed. She was going to kill Raven in the morning.

She awkwardly sat at one end of the couch, as far away from Lexa as possible. Lexa had her eyes closed, and the blonde guessed she was already asleep. After a minute of shifting uncomfortably from one position to another, she dared to get closer to the brunette, and she sprawled her legs next to her as she closed her eyes.

About a minute or so later, she felt a weight on her shoulder, and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking rapidly. She looked to her shoulder to see brown, messy hair resting on top of it. Lexa's eyes were still closed, and she had a peaceful smile plastered on her face.

Clarke's eyes fluttered closed again and she smiled, letting herself drift back to sleep with the soothing and warm breath of Lexa against her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end... for now  
> So tell me if you guys liked it! and don't forget, you can always find me on tumblr @commanderofcandles


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is worried, Lexa is being a little shit, and Anya might possibly save the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
> sorry it took so long for me to update but it was exam week so please forgive me lol  
> hope y'all are doing great! (and that you like this chapter)  
> thank you again to BrittzandTana for edting this and being awesome!

Clarke woke up to the sound of someone making breakfast. Or rather, she guessed it was breakfast, since she had no idea of what time it was.

She slowly and carefully opened her eyes, only to close them again immediately, the bright light of the room burning her even through her eyelids. She stirred and was finally able to open her eyes again, to see Lincoln and Wells chatting while making breakfast.

She also spotted Raven, her head between her hands, sitting in a corner of the room. Anya, Jasper and Monty were still passed out on the cushions on the floor. Clarke got up and noticed that only Lexa was missing. She went to check in her bedroom, then in the bathroom, but the brunette was nowhere to be seen.

She returned to the living area and approached the boys making breakfast. Lincoln spotted her and greeted, "Oh hey, Clarke. Good morning. I hope you don't mind, Wells and I wanted to make food for everyone."

Clarke blinked, still half asleep. "Uh, no, it's fine. I think everyone will be hungry." She looked at the clock and saw it was still pretty early in the morning. She then glanced at the couch, where she and Lexa had slept so soundly. "Have you guys seen Lexa?"

Wells turned his head to look at her. "I woke up an hour ago and she wasn't here."

Lincoln cleared his throat, catching Clarke's attention, and said, "I think she had something planned this morning."

"Oh." Clarke was disappointed. She hadn't even said goodbye, or even mentioned having to leave early.

As if he'd read her thoughts, Lincoln added, "She probably didn't want to wake you up, but I'm sure she had fun."

Clarke only shrugged, not really convinced, but woke the others up so they could all have breakfast together. Anya grunted, but quickly got up to snap her fingers in front of Raven's face.

"Please, it's too early in the morning for this shit," Raven whined.

Anya chuckled. "Come on, you look like you had too much to drink last night, and we didn't even have a single drink."

Anya pulled her friend up, and everyone was mostly silent during breakfast, except for Wells and Lincoln who were clearly morning people and suddenly seemed like the best of friends. After breakfast, Clarke's parents joined them and the conversation picked up.

Lexa wouldn't leave the blonde's mind. Clarke wasn't sure whether or not she believed Lincoln. What he had said sounded very much like a lame excuse as to why the brunette suddenly had to leave without warning so early in the morning. That thought kept bugging her and Clarke couldn't help but wonder if she had done something wrong. Had Lexa found out that Clarke had a crush on her? She tried to convince herself that she hadn't, though, and even if she had, it was Lexa who had rested her head on the blonde's shoulder all night, after possibly hearing her and Raven talk. So that probably wasn't it. But what _was_ it, then?

After everyone had left – once they'd helped clean up the mess they had made and thanked the blonde for the movie night – Clarke told her parents that she was heading out. She needed to talk to the brunette, make sure she was okay. So she hastily showered – water needed to be preserved on the Ark – before making herself presentable and leaving her apartment. Lexa's place wasn't too far from hers, and she made it there in no time. Nevertheless, the walk had been long enough for the blonde to start getting nervous, _really_ nervous. What if she _had_ done something wrong?

_Okay, Clarke, stop making this about you. Maybe this has nothing to do with you. Maybe Lincoln was telling the truth._

She braced herself and knocked on the door quietly. Nothing. She tried again, harder this time. Finally, the door swung open to reveal the green-eyed brunette, looking as stunning as always, even with just a few hours of sleep.

"Hey," Clarke greeted the brunette shyly, hoping she wasn't interrupting something. Lexa's expression was closed off.

"Hi," Lexa replied sternly. Clarke paused, waiting for an acknowledgment of some sort from Lexa that she's sorry for leaving like she had this morning. Nothing of the sort came, though.

Clarke asked tentatively, "Are you okay?"

Lexa's face creased and she replied just as stiffly, "Yeah, I'm fine." Clarke was taken aback. It was as if Lexa had completely shut down her emotions, and had built a huge wall around her, preventing others from getting too close. Or at least Clarke. When she didn't speak again, the brunette finally asked, losing patience. "Did you need anything?"

Lexa's shaky voice didn't go unnoticed by Clarke. She even thought she saw her bottom lip trembling a little. "Uh, no… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left before we could get the chance to talk this morning." Clarke had absolutely no clue as to what was going on in the brunette's mind. Her face was more expressionless than ever.

"Well, as you can see, everything's fine. Thanks for stopping by."

Lexa started closing the door and Clarke put her arm against it to stop her. "Wait, Lexa! Did I do something wrong? Is that why you left so early in the morning?"

Lexa looked confused for a second before going back behind her mask. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. Why would you think that?"

"Well, for starters, you haven't offered any kind of explanation for why you left. And you're being really obnoxious right now." Clarke was starting to get angry now. What was up with her? If something was bothering her, why not just say it and get it over with?

Lexa sighed at Clarke's raising voice, and her shoulders slumped as if they couldn't take it anymore. The brunette's expression visibly softened, and Clarke thought she saw pain in her eyes. "No, Clarke. You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. I just had to make sure of something and I didn't want to wake you up, you were all sleeping peacefully."

"Okay, then why are you being so distant right now?" Clarke knew there was more than just what she was saying.

"I'm not. I'm being exactly the same as every day." Lexa smiled softly, the smile that Clarke found so adorable. But it still wasn't the Lexa she had gotten to know these past few days. This Lexa seemed different, guarded and almost insensitive.

"Okay, well then, I'll leave you to being your 'usual self'." Clarke used air quotes, emphasizing the fact that she wasn't buying it. She started to turn around, ready to go to back home and push Lexa out of her thoughts, until she felt a hand on her arm, gently turning her back around.

"I had fun, Clarke, really. Thank you for last night." Lexa wasn't smiling, but Clarke could see the sincerity in her eyes.

Clarke stood there, still and silent, because she really didn't understand Lexa at all right now. One second she was being insensitive, and the next she tried to be nice. Without even saying goodbye, Lexa shut the door, leaving Clarke to stare at it for almost an entire minute.

What had just happened?

 

//

 

 _You're such a jerk,_ Lexa thought as she leaned against her front door, after having so unceremoniously closed it in Clarke's face. Clarke was wrong. Lexa was being her usual self. The blonde had just met the cold and uncaring Lexa, or at least the Lexa that pretended not to care. The only Lexa that most people, aside from Anya and Lincoln, knew. She had messed up this week, by being all nice and friendly to Clarke and her friends. She wasn't nice, she wasn't friendly. She was just tired. Tired and broken, beyond repair.

When she had woken up on Clarke's couch, her head on the blonde's shoulder, she had realized her mistake. She had been reckless. What if Abby had stepped out of her room and seen her? That's why she had left without telling anyone, not even her closest friends. Although, they should have expected it.

Lexa couldn't help but notice that it had been the best night of sleep she had had in almost two years. But she couldn't afford to have such thoughts, especially because she knew it had everything to do with the blonde she'd fallen asleep against. Lexa had promised herself not to make the same mistakes. For a brief moment, she had let herself feel like she was allowed to have a crush, that it wouldn't do any harm. Except that Lexa didn't know how to do things without hurting people. She snorted. It was ironic that she had hurt the blonde while trying to keep her from getting hurt anyway. But Lexa told herself that it was for the best, because if she and Clarke became good friends, she would end up getting hurt even worse. Now, all the blonde had to do was forget about her.

Lexa felt a sharp pain in her heart _. Never again, s_ he had promised herself almost two years ago. Never again.

 

//

 

The whole week had gone by without Clarke talking to the brunette or even acknowledging her presence. Raven and Anya were very confused as to what was going on with their best friends, but they didn't dare question them directly about it after receiving multiple glares just at the mere mention of the other's name.

Now, Clarke was dreading going to last period, because Lexa was the only one she knew in that class, and the fact that they weren't even talking to each other was more than a little upsetting. It was Friday, so that meant she would soon have a break from seeing her, but unfortunately, they still had an English project to do, and they hadn't made any progress. Clarke decided to be the bigger person here, and even though she was so mad at Lexa for being a dick the previous week, she braced herself and as she sat next to her on Friday, she asked, "What are you doing on Sunday?"

It took a moment for Lexa's mind to grasp around the fact that Clarke was actually talking to her, but then she replied just as stiffly as ever, "Nothing. Why?"

"We still have a project to do, remember? So I thought maybe you could come to my place and we could work on that." Clarke felt obliged to clarify, "Just as classmates. Not as friends or anything."

_Ouch. That hurts._

Lexa only nodded and said that she'd be there, infuriating the blonde even more because she hadn't even flinched when she said that they weren't even friends. Or at least, that was what Clarke had thought.

Thankfully, the bell rang and Clarke tried to focus on class instead, trying to forget than less than a week ago she had been so grateful that she shared three classes with Lexa. Now it was as if they despised each other so much that they'd rather ignore one another than even saying hi. It was getting ridiculous.

As she stood up, gathering her things after the bell rang, her gaze fell on the pens Lexa was quickly putting away in her pencil case. Despite the anger she felt toward the green-eyed brunette, she couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. Then, Lexa's gaze fell on her, green eyes meeting blue ones, and Clarke caught sight of real pain behind those emerald eyes, _distress_ even.

The anger that had grown within her throughout the past week vanished in an instant, and Clarke felt compelled to offer, "Want to do something after practice today?"

Lexa looked at her as if she had gone mad. Did the blonde suddenly have amnesia? The brunette had been a jerk all week, not even apologizing or making an effort to talk to her. And yet, here she was, offering to hang out with her as if nothing had happened. Lexa's heart skipped a beat. How could she say no?

"Um…" Lexa wanted to say yes, like _really_ wanted to. But the word somehow got caught in her throat. She stood there, staring into blue eyes for almost twenty seconds, before Clarke lost patience.

"Don't bother answering. I get it. You want nothing to do with me." Clark turned on her heel with an exasperated sigh, and left the classroom as fast as she could.

"Clarke!" Lexa called after her. "Clarke!"

But the blonde didn't turn around, the anger coming back full force. She was so mad at herself. The brunette had ignored her all week, why would it have been any different now? And the worst part was that she had no idea why Lexa was acting this way. She had said that Clarke hadn't done anything wrong, so what was the problem?

Lexa only sighed, exasperated at herself, but she knew she would rather have the blonde mad at her than hurt because of something she had done. She gathered her stuff and went to her basketball practice. She met Anya as she changed in the tiny locker room, and her blonde friend immediately noticed something was wrong.

"What happened?"

Anya's voice pulled Lexa out of her thoughts. "What? Nothing, why?"

"You seem… upset." Anya frowned. Her friend wasn't one to confide easily, even to her and Lincoln, her closest and probably only real friends. But Anya could be pretty stubborn when she wanted to, and she always found a way to crack the brunette's walls just enough to see what was hiding behind them.

"It's nothing, really." Lexa shrugged.

"I'm gonna let you enjoy practice, to let you breathe. But after that, you'll have to actually talk to me," Anya insisted.

Except Lexa wasn't really feeling it today. She had struggled all week to focus, and today, she was simply out of it. She dreaded the moment she'd have to tell Anya the truth, because she knew what her friend would think. She would tell Lexa that she was being stupid, and that she couldn't hide behind false pretexts all her life.

Once practice was over, they agreed to hang out at Anya's place. After they had showered, and found themselves settled on the blonde's bed.

"Lex, you've been off all week. And I'm not just talking about practice. You were way more broody than usual."

Lexa feigned shock. "I'm not broody."

"Yes, you are. But I love you anyway," Anya finished with a half smile that Lexa returned, though it didn't reach her eyes. Anya was never one to talk about her feelings, so Lexa had learned to appreciate the rare moments she did so.

"It's about Clarke, isn't it?"

Lexa let out a long sigh. Of course, she couldn't hide anything from her best friend. She always saw right through her. Lexa didn't trust her voice, so she only nodded.

"Let me guess, you like her and you feel like you shouldn't. And that stupid guilt of yours is telling you to keep her away from you."

Anya's words hurt more than she could ever imagine. Because that was exactly what it was about. Misplaced guilt. Lexa knew that, but she couldn't help how she felt.

"I know I'll end up hurting her, eventually."

Anya laid her head on her pillows, her eyes never leaving Lexa's face, even though the brunette didn't dare to make eye contact. "And how exactly do you know that?"

"I just do." Then, she muttered, "That's what I always do."

"First, that's not true. And second…" Anya paused and sat up on the bed again. "I think you're hiding under false pretexts. I think you're the one afraid of getting hurt again, and you're trying to push everyone you genuinely like away."

 _Here we go,_ Lexa thought, _now she's going to lecture me again._

"Stop looking like you just want to get out of here! You know it's the truth."

Lexa finally met her friend's eyes, feeling tired all of a sudden. "So, what if it was? What if I'm just trying to protect myself from getting hurt? Could you really blame me?"

Anya put a comforting hand on the girl's back, looking at her sadly. "No, of course not," she said quietly. "I get what you're trying to do, and most of the time, I don't say anything." Lexa threw her a pointed look. "Okay, fine. Most of the time, I'm butting in. _But,_ I let you do it anyway. How many times have I let you turn girls down because you were afraid of actually having fun and letting your guard down?" Lexa didn't reply, only dropping her gaze to look at her joined hands. "Exactly. But this time, I can really tell that you like her. And I'm pretty sure she likes you too."

Lexa shook her head vigorously. "No, she doesn't. Plus, I don't even know if she likes girls anyway."

"She's bi," Anya stated.

Lexa's head perked up, but she refused to let herself feel hopeful. "That doesn't mean she likes me."

"No, but that doesn't mean she doesn't either." Anya paused, her head going back to her pillows. "Look, just promise me you'll think about it, okay? Because, even if she doesn't like you that way – which I'm pretty sure is not the case anyway – you and her can still be good friends."

Anya knew she wouldn't get anything more out of Lexa today, so she dropped it after Lexa only nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme know if you guys liked it!  
> also, you can find me on tumblr @commanderofcandles and on twitter @schtroumpfie_31  
> come and say hi! I don't bite  
> have a great day/night!  
> (also, it'd be great for those of you who have a twitter to participate in the trend tonight. I believe that even 8 months after, the worst that could happen is that this fandom would let clexa die. so please, come and join us to honor their relationship and what it meant to us. it brought something different to each and every one of us, so come and share if you feel like it!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
> sorry it took so long for me to update, uni is crazy as always  
> hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> thanks to BrittzandTana for editing
> 
> emotional chapter, and trigger warning for mention of self-harm and suicide at the end

"What's gotten you so flustered?" Raven asked her friend, concerned because she wouldn't stop huffing and cursing at everything and everyone around her.

"Nothing," Clarke retorted.

"Does it have something to do with the fact that you and Lexa didn't talk at all this week, even during lunch?"

"What? No!" How could her friend read her so easily? It was scary sometimes.

"Uh huh, sure, keep lying to yourself, my friend." Raven smirked at the blonde, because the blonde was impossible. Why wouldn't she simply admit how she felt?

"I'm not lying. I'm just tired of school and everything," Clarke tried to justify her short temper.

"Really? It's only been like, a week." Raven wasn't buying that. She knew the blonde too well, and she knew that she was just mad because she and Lexa weren't talking. She didn't dare to ask why they weren't, though she was wondering, because Lexa had been acting completely normal with everyone else. Maybe something had happened between the two of them that she didn't know about. Whatever it was, Raven sure as hell wasn't letting her friend off the hook. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Yeah, well, it's already stressful. Come on, let's just go to Wells' place and watch a movie or something," Clarke suggested.

Raven grunted. "We always watch movies. Don't you wanna do something else?"

"Like what?" Clarke raised an eyebrow, happy that the topic was finally off of her and Lexa. "There's not much to do…"

 

//

 

Saturday had turned out being pretty uneventful for Lexa. She mostly spent her morning with Anya and Lincoln doing homework, before she decided she needed some time alone. So she went home and started to write, to clear her mind of the things bothering her. So she wrote, and wrote, for a few hours straight, but after half an hour spent just staring at a blank page, she reached the point where her own thoughts were making her feel dizzy, and she decided that it was useless. She couldn't properly focus, Anya's words wouldn't leave her mind.

_You and her can still be good friends._

Yes, that was true. But it meant that she would have to tell Clarke the truth about her past. And Anya and Lincoln were the only ones who knew.

_No, they're not._

Actually, Clarke's mom knew about it too, and that was the reason the brunette had been avoiding her. But if she wanted to be friends with the brunette, _real_ friends, she would eventually see Abby again. She was going to the blonde's house the next day after all, and Lexa didn't want Clarke to learn the truth through her mother.

That was it, then. Lexa would go to Clarke's house the following day, and apologize for her behavior during the past week. And she'd give a proper explanation, she would tell Clarke the truth.

All Lexa wanted for now, though, was to get some sleep, and let her worries vanish, even if just for a brief moment.

 

//

 

_Okay, this seemed so much easier in my head._

Now that Lexa was facing Clarke's front door, her plan of the previous day seemed like a terrible one.

_Come on, Lexa! You have a project to do with her, and you're not going to let her handle that by herself._

Who was she kidding? She was freaking out inside, and there was no way Clarke wouldn't notice. She knocked anyway, and waited for the blonde to open the door. Or at least, she hoped Clarke would be the one to open it, because she wasn't sure if she could handle seeing Abby right now – which was absurd since she was about to enter her home for the second time in just a little more than a week. When the door finally swung open, Lexa instantly smiled and let out a light breath that she didn't know she'd been holding, because Clarke stood in front of her. Her smile quickly faded though, because the blonde didn't seem happy to see her.

"Hi," Lexa greeted softly.

"Hi," came Clarke's stern reply.

"Can I come in?" the brunette tried tentatively.

Clarke didn't reply, just stepped away, allowing Lexa to enter. She closed the door behind her and, without a word, just went straight to her bedroom. Lexa stood there for a second, stunned, and realizing just how much of a jerk she had been for the blonde to react like this. She deserved this, and way more.

Lexa was suddenly startled when she heard the blonde's loud, exasperated voice, "You coming or what?"

Lexa approached Clarke's bedroom, only to stop at the doorway. Clarke was sitting at her desk, looking sternly at her.

"So, I was thinking that maybe we could-"

"Clarke, I'm sorry," Lexa cut her off, because she couldn't take that look anymore. She wanted to go back to getting to know Clarke, step by step. She wanted to see that kind look and smile again, the one that made her heart skip a beat every single time. Anya had been right, she couldn't keep pushing people away forever. She didn't want to feel scared anymore, and she really wanted to have Clarke as a friend. She knew she'd have to earn Clarke's forgiveness though, and it wouldn't be easy. And even then, Clarke was still free to decide that she didn't want Lexa as a friend. The brunette would understand her decision.

"About what?"

_Really, Clarke? You wanna play it like that?_

Lexa gave her a pointed look. "You know what."

Clarke sighed, and Lexa gulped under the intensity of her sky blue eyes, a sky she had never seen but in Clarke’s eyes. "Maybe I do… but maybe I also just want to hear you say it."

It was Lexa's turn to sigh, sitting on Clarke's bed. "About the past week. About ignoring you and being a jerk." Green eyes locked into blue ones. "I'm really sorry, Clarke."

The blonde got up from her chair, and leaned on the wall opposite her bed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't get it, Lexa." She paused, staring into green eyes intently. "Why did you push me away? You were cold to me all week, but you talked to Raven and the others. Why didn't you talk to me?"

Lexa sighed again, and this time she dropped her gaze, not able to bear looking into those confused, ocean colored eyes anymore. "I have no excuses for treating you the way I did. I guess I was just scared."

"Scared?" Clarke frowned. "Of what?"

When Lexa didn't answer, Clarke huffed and sat back at her desk. "Look, Lexa, you were really nice to me during the first week of school. I thought we could become good friends, but then you just ignored me all of a sudden, and you can't even tell me why. I think we better just stick to that English project."

Lexa only nodded, not daring to look up and trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Why was it so hard to tell the truth? Maybe because she hadn't told anyone, _ever_. Lincoln and Anya already knew her when it happened, and Abby had been the one to take care of her at the clinic. She hadn't needed to tell them. If it wasn't for her friends and Abby's help, Lexa probably wouldn't even be here today.

Lexa quickly gathered herself, and listened distractedly to Clarke explaining her ideas for their project. She thought that Lexa and she could write a story together, about the Earth and their people, about the day they would finally return to the ground. Lexa could do the writing part while Clarke illustrated.

Lexa's heart sank a little. Their interactions felt stiff, awkward even, nothing like they had been before Lexa screwed up. She understood Clarke's decision, really, but it didn't change that fact that it hurt.

Clarke's soft – though somehow stern – voice pulled Lexa back to reality, "I promised I would show you my drawings. Here they are." The blonde grabbed what looked like a sketchbook from her desk and handed it to the brunette. Lexa took it carefully, and glanced at Clarke, as if to have the confirmation that she could indeed take a look inside.

Clarke nodded slightly, and for the first time since Lexa arrived, she saw a half smile appearing on the blonde's lips. So she opened it, and she found herself in awe when she laid eyes on the first page. It was a drawing of the Earth, of what it might look like nowadays, of the thriving forests, shiny seas, snowy mountains and all those beautiful landscapes that everyone on the Ark dreamed of.

Lexa flipped through the pages, and one drawing fell out the book onto the floor. Lexa quickly picked it up and turned it to see what it was. She froze and felt her heart skip a beat. It was a drawing of her and Anya at their practice, likely from the first and only time Clarke had come to watch. Lexa was in the middle of scoring, while Anya was a few feet away. The other players where withdrawn, and it seemed obvious that the drawing wasn't finished yet, though it was already beautiful. Lexa was stunned at the level of detail her own figure harbored. She didn't notice that Clarke had been scrutinizing her, searching for any kind of reaction. She didn't notice that furious blush on her cheeks. She certainly didn't notice how wide her eyes were.

Clarke moved to sit next to the brunette in one swift motion, snatching the drawing out of her hands and flipping it over so that Lexa couldn't see it anymore. "You weren't supposed to see that," Clarke said, sounding mortified.

"Sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have been so curious," Lexa apologized, still stunned that Clarke had drawn her.

"No, it's not your fault. I let you look at my drawings, didn't I?" Clarke tried to plaster a smile on her face, but failed miserably and it ended up looking more like a grimace.

Lexa thought back to the others sketches and drawings. She had seen many landscapes, but also sketches of Clarke's dad and mom, smiling and talking to each other. She had seen drawings of the Ark, and the void that surrounded it, because yes, Clarke was even able to make the void seem fascinating. She hadn't seen a drawing of Raven, Wells or any of her other friends. So why was there a drawing _of her_? Because it was clear that although Anya was also represented, as well as other players, she was the center of that drawing. "You really have a gift. Those drawings are amazing. I'm sure people would pay millions to see them."

"Yeah, well, here on the Ark, nobody cares about art," Clarke shrugged.

"Not true. I know some people are really into it. _I'm_ really into it, though it's a different kind of art. Doesn't mean I can't appreciate beauty when I see it." Lexa smiled at her, hoping she would break the ice wall that had built between them.

Clarke blushed, for no particular reason other than the fact that Lexa was being really nice, and that her comments made Clarke's heart swell. "Thanks," she muttered softly, a genuine smile making its way to her lips.

"I guess we'll make a pretty good team for that project, huh?" Lexa smiled even wider. She would do anything to see more of that smile.

It obviously worked, Lexa thought, as she saw Clarke's soft smile turning into a grin. Maybe there was still hope for them, after all. If Lexa proved to her how badly she wanted to make amends, maybe they could indeed return to being friends.

They spent a great part of the afternoon just brainstorming ideas, writing off things that seemed important. When Lexa glanced at the clock on Clarke's bedside table, she saw that it was almost seven in the evening, and she figured that she should go home.

Just as she got herself up from Clarke's bed, the door of the blonde's room opened, and Abby peeked inside. Lexa stiffened instantly, and she felt her insides churning painfully. Lexa had dreaded this moment, and it was finally here.

_Maybe she won't recognize you._

_Yeah, right. Like she won't recognize a girl whose life she saved._

She knew Abby had helped many people on the Ark, just as she knew she had saved many lives, but she also knew deep down that Abby had always cared for her the most, and that she would probably be upset that the brunette never tried to reach out to her after she had left the clinic.

Abby had kept coming to her house. For at least two months, she had kept knocking on the brunette's door, but Lexa never let her in. So finally, Abby gave up, and they had never seen each other again.

She observed the older woman, witnessing the swirl of emotions her face gave away. First, she saw shock written on her features, then disappointment, anger, and finally, maybe the most surprising of all, pain. It felt like a punch in the stomach to Lexa.

"Lexa?" Came Abby's quiet voice. The crack as she said the brunette's name didn't go unnoticed by either Lexa or Clarke. Another punch to the brunette's stomach.

Lexa found herself stuck, frozen in place, a lump in her throat that prevented any sound from escaping her mouth. She forced her mouth open, closed it and then opened it again.

"You two know each other?"

Lexa finally broke eye contact with Abby to glance at Clarke. The blonde's eyebrows were furrowed, and she was obviously wondering what was going on, as neither her mom nor Lexa spoke.

Lexa cleared her throat, and finally got the words out, Abby's stare still locked on her. "Uh yeah. We met two years ago. I broke my arm, remember?" She then plastered a fake smile on her face. "Pleasure to see you again."

She really hoped Abby would not say anything, not when Clarke was standing just a few feet away from them.

"Pleasure to-" Abby huffed, the rest of her sentence getting stuck in her throat. "Lexa, you can't be serious! It's been two years since you started avoiding me, and now that I find you in my daughter's bedroom, that's all that you have to say?"

"Abby, listen-"

"No, you listen, Lexa," Abby cut her off, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction. "I took care of you! I made sure you survived, and then again, when you harmed yourself. I even offered to welcome you into my family! And you just blatantly avoided me for two years!"

That story felt awfully familiar to Clarke. She had heard her mom talking to her father about something like that a couple of years ago. Abby wanted some girl to be part of their family, because apparently, she had no one left. Her father had seemed to agree, but she never saw the girl in question and they never spoke about it again, so she had remained a mystery to Clarke until she forgot about it.

"Okay, mom, calm down." Clarke went to her mom's side to put her comforting hand on her shoulder, her gaze moving rapidly from her mom to Lexa. The brunette seemed on the verge of tears, and that sight broke Clarke's heart. She had no clue as to what was happening, but she figured the brunette wouldn't want to be comforted right now.

"Abby-"

"I cared for you Lexa, as much as I cared for my own daughter."

Clarke's eyes went back to focus on her mom, who gulped heavily.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just wanted to be alone." Lexa's head dropped, and her hair masked her face, only her light sobs gave away the fact that she was crying.

Abby didn't raise her voice this time, that sight breaking her heart too. "That's not true Lexa, and you know it. You didn't want to be alone. You needed support, but you just hid away from everything, and everyone who cared about you. I had to ask for Anya for news, and even she, at first, wasn't able to give me any."

Lexa sobbed again, head still down, and Abby grabbed her in a tight hug. Clarke's hand that was on Abby's shoulder dropped, and she just stood there awkwardly, trying to make sense out of the scene happening in her room. The dots seemed to connect, even if there was still questions left to be asked. Obviously, Lexa was the girl that her mom had wanted to welcome into their family, but she still didn't know why, or what had happened to the brunette. Apparently, it had nothing to do with a broken arm.

Clarke felt like her mom and Lexa both needed a moment alone, so she exited her bedroom and closed the door behind her, giving them the space they needed to talk. It was obvious that Lexa had lied. She and her mom didn't know each other because Lexa had broken her arm. Lexa was definitely the mystery girl that had been supposed to live with them.

Inside her bedroom, Lexa was crying uncontrollably in Abby's arms, and she clung desperately to her. "I-I'm so-sorry, Abby."

Abby hushed the girl, and placed her hand to caress her brown hair, placing a light kiss atop of her head. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here. You're going to be okay."

Abby felt bad for her outburst. She knew that Lexa truly felt guilty for what had happened, and being yelled at was not what she needed. But she hadn't been able to help herself, the mere sight of the brunette's face had brought back so many painful memories. She knew that it had to be worse for Lexa, and her heart sank as she listened to Lexa's never ending sobs.

It took almost half an hour before the brunette seemed to get a hold of herself, and Clarke couldn't bear it anymore. She went back to her bedroom, and asked, "Mom, could you leave us alone?" Abby raised her head to look at her daughter, and Clarke insisted, "Please?"

Looking for a sign that it was okay to leave, Abby looked at Lexa, who only nodded slightly, drying her red, puffy eyes.

Abby got up and closed the door after she left, and Clarke immediately took her place beside Lexa on the bed. "Hey, Lexa." She patted her back and urged the brunette to look up, "Look at me."

Lexa complied begrudgingly, hating the fact that Clarke was seeing her so vulnerable. She felt something like release flooding through her when Clarke lifted her chin even higher, and she rested one hand on the brunette's face, cupping her right cheek. Lexa leaned into the touch, seeking contact more than ever.

"I don't really understand what just happened, and I certainly don't want to make you feel like you have to talk to me at all. Because you really don't have to, not if you don't want to." Clarke smiled at her sadly, her thumb tracing small patterns on Lexa's cheek as she felt the brunette relax slightly under her touch. "But I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay? If you want to talk, or even need someone to distract you, I'm here, okay?"

Lexa finally dared to look into her blue eyes, and she saw nothing but concern and softness. She closed her eyes briefly, gathering her thoughts, and opened them again once she was ready. "I want to tell you the truth, Clarke. In fact, I wanted to tell you when I apologized earlier, but…" Her voice trailed off, she didn't know how to get the words out of her mouth, and she was stammering.

"Is that why you told me you were scared? Is that the reason you pushed me away this week?" Things were finally starting to make sense. Lexa had partly told the truth, Clarke had done nothing wrong, it was the brunette who had decided to push her away, and she started to feel like the reason for that was linked to whatever had happened two years ago.

Lexa only nodded, before she began explaining. "Two years ago, there was an accident in farm station. Some airlock randomly opened, and my father got sucked into space while he was working there." Lexa breathed in deeply, realizing how hard, but also how liberating it felt to finally tell that story to someone.

Clarke's hand dropped from Lexa's cheek, and she instead grabbed the brunette's hands in her own. She listened carefully, not daring to interrupt, because it was obviously painful for Lexa to confess, and each word she said pained Clarke all the more.

"I was supposed to meet my mom after her work shift ended, but I was running late." Lexa felt awful, because while she was finally telling the story to someone, she still wasn't telling the _whole_ story. She was still keeping a huge part of it to herself. "Someone told her what had happened, and she rushed to farm station. Only she didn't know that it was still dangerous to be in that station."

Clarke had a feeling she knew what was coming next. Monty had lost his father a couple of years ago, and he'd been working in farm station too. There were many victims that day.

"Breaches kept happening everywhere, and people were trapped in here by security. They didn't know how to stop the breaches, so they locked everyone up until they found a solution." Lexa's voice was trembling with anger. "Only they found it too late. When medical unit got there, everyone was already dead from the lack of oxygen, including my mom."

Clarke inhaled sharply, and stopped brushing Lexa's hands, horrified. Lexa's attention focused back on her, and the blonde saw nothing but pain and anger in those forest green eyes. She looked so small, so… _broken_.

"They killed the people here. They killed my mom. My dad died from an accident, but my mom and eighteen other people were murdered."

"Lexa..." Clarke had no idea what to say. How could the Ark and the Chancellor justify such horrors? She remembered that Monty had told them his dad died in an accident. Maybe the authorities had convinced everyone that it was the truth, but Lexa obviously knew better. "I'm so sorry." Clarke let out a sob as she pulled Lexa into a tight hug, and she cursed herself for being the one to cry while Lexa was here, expressionless but yet obviously hurting like hell.

Lexa quickly pulled away from the embrace, and she got up, putting some distance between Clarke and her. She continued, voice still shaky, "After that I- I-…" She breathed heavily. "I flipped out. And I tried to kill myself." She stared into Clarke's ocean eyes as she saw her gasp again. She didn't stop. Now that she had started, she didn't know how to stop. "Abby was the one to take care of me. She's the only reason I'm alive today, and I'm so grateful to her for that. She tried to pick up the pieces, and she even managed to make me feel better, like I hadn't died that day. And then, she did the most selfless thing I had ever seen anyone do. She offered to take me in as a part of your family. And I said no. After I got out of the clinic, I never saw your mom again. I knew I couldn't take her offer. I knew that I would've been a burden to her, and to you and your father. I didn't want that for her. She's an extraordinary woman, Clarke, and I couldn't do that to her."

Just as Lexa thought she didn't have any more tears left to shed, a small tear rolled freely down her cheek.

Clarke got up, and when Lexa took a step back, she grabbed her hand and dried her single tear with her thumb. "You're not a burden, Lexa. I'm not going to tell you what you should have done, because I can't even begin to imagine how you felt. But you're not a burden, not to anyone." Clarke squeezed Lexa's hand and gave her a half smile that she hoped was somewhat comforting. "You have people who deeply care about you, Lexa, and you need to let those people take care of you. You're not alone, and you never will be."

Lexa couldn't resist it anymore, and she put her arms around Clarke's waist, pulling her in an intimate embrace. She breathed heavily as she rested her head in the crook of the blonde's neck. Clarke's soft voice was more comforting than the blonde could ever imagine.

"I know I said I didn't want to be your friend, Lex. But it wasn't true. I want to be there for you, Lexa. I _care_ about you."

Lexa didn't let go of Clarke, and she breathed out a quiet, "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked it  
> lemme know your thoughts through comments or kudos  
> you can also find me on tumblr @commanderofcandles


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clexa keeps being fluffy and bellaven might be happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys  
> hope you like this chapter  
> it'd be nice to hear your thoughts so please comment  
> you can also find me on tumblr @commanderofcandles  
> as always, thank you to BrittzandTana for editing this

_"Lexa!"_

_"Raaah!"_

_"Lexa, calm down!"_

_"Get away from me!"_

_"Jackson, I need restraining chains over here! Quick!"_

_Abby was trying to keep Lexa still in her bed, but the brunette was fighting fiercely, and soon, she managed to brutally push Abby onto the floor and she got up, ripping her drip away from her arm, blood slowly dripping onto the cold floor._

_Lexa stood there, enraged, obviously confused because of the pain killers. Abby knew they should have sedated her._

_"I should have died with them!" the brunette yelled, tears streaming down her face. "You shouldn't have saved me! They died because of me!"_

_Lexa had tried to steal a drop ship and get to the Earth. 'Suicide by the Earth' they called it, but Abby had figured it out, and had brought her to the clinic after she fought the guards who'd come after her and injured herself. Under normal circumstances, that would have cost her her freedom, and they would have locked her up in a cell, but these weren't normal circumstances at all. Abby had asked the Chancellor to give the girl a chance, to allow her to grieve and get her life back. And he had accepted, maybe out of guilt and pity due to what had happened to her family. Except that Lexa hadn't had a life to go back to anymore. Her family was dead, and she was left on her own. Anya and Lincoln had tried to see her, but she had sent them away violently. Abby was the only one capable of preventing Lexa from hurting herself now, and that's what she intended to do, even if she had landed on her ass as Lexa shoved her away._

_The older woman got up in a swift motion, but she stayed away from Lexa, giving the girl some space to try and make her feel safe. However, Abby thought that Lexa might not ever feel safe, ever again._

_"Listen to me carefully, Lexa. What happened to your parents was a tragedy. But it's not your fault. Your dad died because of a tragic accident. And everything that happened after that wasn't your fault at all." Abby saw Jackson coming in with restraints out of the corner of her eye, but she quickly dismissed him with a shake of her head._

_"I should have been there with them! I was supposed to be! I should have died with them…" The brunette collapsed on the floor, exhausted. She didn't want to feel like this anymore. She didn't want to feel anything at all anymore._

_Abby was by her side in less than a second, and she cupped Lexa's face to force the brunette to look at her. "Lexa, it was not your fault. You're still alive for a reason, Lexa. You're not alone, and everyone who loves you will help get you through this, including me. Because you will get through this, Lexa. I promise you."_

_"Lexa!"_

_"Lexa, wake up!"_

"Lexa!"

Lexa abruptly sat up straight on her bed, and she found it hard to breathe. She needed air, she needed-

She didn't know what she needed. But she sure as hell didn't need to relive those terrible moments from her past.

"Lexa," came Clarke's reassuring voice beside her, "it was just a nightmare."

Both Griffin women had insisted that Lexa stayed for dinner, and then also for the night, because as Abby had said, "Now that I finally get to see you again, I'm not letting you get away". Lexa felt so grateful that they were here. Because she'd had nightmares almost every night since that day, and for the first time ever, someone was beside her, comforting her and telling her that everything would be okay.

Clarke was tenderly drawing small circles on Lexa's back, and she took her hands in her own, squeezing them lightly as she whispered, "I'm here. You don't have to be afraid. You're not alone."

Lexa's breathing became more regular, and once she was able to form coherent thoughts, she thanked her. "Thank you for being here, Clarke. I'm sorry I woke you up."

Lexa brushed her thumb against the blonde's hand, and Clarke gave her a soft smile. "It's okay. I wasn't sleeping anyway."

Clarke didn't want to admit it to Lexa, but she had been unable to sleep, instead watching over her friend and just processing everything she had told her. _How could someone bear this on their own for so long?_ Clarke wondered. Fortunately, Lexa hadn't been completely alone. Anya and Lincoln had been there, but as much as Clarke knew Lexa was grateful for them, it just wasn't enough. Now, Clarke was determined not to let the brunette feel alone ever again. She would be there for her whenever she needed her, just as she promised. And Clarke also promised herself to get through Lexa's thick walls, and be one of the people who Lexa could turn to whenever she felt like she needed to lean on someone.

"What was keeping you awake?" Lexa wondered, still trying to even her breathing.

"Drawing," Clarke lied, thinking that it might sound creepy that she had been watching her sleep, and that Lexa would likely feel the same. The brunette seemed to believe it, having noticed Clarke's sketchbook on the floor beside the bed.

"I wasn't kidding when I said you have a gift, you know?" Lexa chuckled. "I mean, I couldn't draw to save my own life, but I recognize an artist when I see one. And you're one hell of an artist."

Clarke blushed and returned the compliment, "Thanks. And I could say the same about your writing, it's really amazing."

She thought she saw Lexa blush, matching her own, but it was hard to tell in the darkness. Lexa then glanced at the clock on the bedside table, and she saw it was almost three in the morning. Clarke followed her gaze and suggested, "Come on, let's go back to sleep, and maybe I'll finally sleep too."

"Good idea," Lexa smiled. Noticing her and Clarke's hands were still entangled, she quickly pulled her own away, resting her head on the pillows. "Goodnight, Clarke," she murmured as she resisted the urge to place Clarke's hand around her waist. She was happy that Clarke was going to be her friend, and she would never do anything that might ruin that friendship.

"Goodnight, Lexa."

A knock was heard on the door on Sunday morning, and Jake went to answer it. He wasn't surprised to see Raven on the other side of the door, it was usual for the girl to just drop by to see Clarke. He was really happy that her daughter had such a thoughtful best friend.

"Good morning, Raven," he greeted the girl. "Here to see Clarke?"

"Hey, Mr. G. Yeah, is she here?" Raven queried.

Before Jake could answer, Clarke was beside him, inviting Raven inside without hesitation. "Hi, Rae! Come in. We were just having breakfast."

Raven was slightly surprised, because the Griffins usually had their breakfast way earlier than that. As if Clarke read her mind, she clarified, "We went to bed pretty late last night, and we decided to have a lazy Sunday."

They'd had so much fun last night, talking and playing stupid board games with Lexa. They hadn't seen the hours flowing by.

"I don't want to interrupt anything-"

"Don't be silly. You're not interrupting anything, Raven. Besides, we already have a guest," Jake cut her off, opening the door wider to let her come in.

Raven frowned, wondering who that could be. To say that she was surprised to find Lexa sitting at their table would be the understatement of the year. Last time she had checked, Clarke was still mad at Lexa for some obscure reason, and now they were having sleepovers without her? Raven tried to hide her smirk when she thought that maybe, Clarke and Lexa had decided to move on to the next level.

"Hi, Raven," Abby greeted her, and Lexa nodded, chewing on some food.

"Hey, Mrs. G, Lex," Raven greeted back, smiling.

"How many times have I asked you to call me Abby?" Abby said playfully.

They all chatted happily, and soon, they had finished eating breakfast – there hadn't much to eat to begin with – and Lexa stood up. "Thanks for everything, really. But I better get going now, and let you-"

"Lexa," Abby cut her off, scowling, "we already talked about this. You're not going anywhere. At least, not today," she finished with a small smile, which Lexa reciprocated.

"I don't want to bother you or any-"

"Lexa!" This time, it was Clarke's turn to scowl. "You heard her, it's doctor's orders that you stay here with us today." Clarke and the Griffins wouldn't insist so much if they didn't know that the last thing Lexa wanted was to be at her place by herself.

Lexa finally gave in. "Okay, thanks again for everything."

"Stop thanking us, it's fine." Jake flashed her a reassuring smile. He had only met the girl the previous day, but he was already under her spell. Lexa was truly an amazing person.

"Okay, I have no clue as to what's going on here," Raven muttered under her breath, and Clarke chuckled beside her.

The three girls ended up in Clarke's room, making small talk and laughing at silly jokes Raven kept coming up with. Suddenly, Clarke remembered her conversation with her friend almost a week ago, and she exclaimed, "Rae! You never told me if you asked Bell out!"

"Clarke!" Raven glared at her friend, because she'd rather keep her crush on the boy low-key. It wasn't that she didn't trust Lexa, she simply didn't want everyone to know.

Lexa chuckled, and that made Raven's cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. "Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"Oh, I know you won't. Because if you do, I might have to kill you," Raven deadpanned and Lexa burst in laughter at the supposedly scary look the other girl was giving her.

It felt good to be normal again, just hanging out with friends on a Sunday instead of doing homework. Talking about school, crushes and friends, not having anything to worry about. It was the most alive Lexa had felt in a while.

"Well?" Clarke urged her friend, because she still hadn't given her an answer.

"He sort of… asked me out the other day," Raven stated shyly.

"What? And you didn't tell me?" Clarke frowned.

"Well, yes, because you were all grumpy that Miss Cutie over here wasn't talking to you." Raven answered playfully.

Lexa blushed a little at the nickname, and Clarke feigned being hurt. "I _wasn't grumpy_ , just… confused."

"Yeah, right. Whatever you tell yourself to deny that you were actually a pain in the ass all week." Clarke huffed, and Raven continued, "You still haven't told me what the fuss was about, by the way. Now that you two obviously sorted it out, it'd be nice of you to keep me in the loop." Raven gazed from her best friend to Lexa, and back at her best friend again.

Lexa gulped uncomfortably, and simply replied, "I was sort of a jerk to her."

"Sort of, or you were?"

"Raven!" Clarke scowled. "There's nothing to talk about anymore. Like you said, we sorted it out and now everything's fine. Right, Lexa?"

"Right." Lexa smiled fondly at her.

Raven rolled her eyes. It was obvious that they still thought they were just friends, that they weren't totally crushing on each other. If it hadn't been so tense all week between them, Raven would have outed them right then and there.

"Okay, I'll drop it," Raven gave in. _For now,_ she quickly added to herself.

"So…" Lexa brought them back to the original topic. "Bellamy asked you out?"

Raven' cheeks turned a bright red and Clarke laughed, "Oh my god, is the great Raven Reyes actually blushing?"

Raven tried to shrug it off, though it was obvious that she was really embarrassed. "He suggested that we watch the moon rise together, and then watch a movie or something."

"How romantic." Clarke chuckled.

"I know. It's weird, isn't it?" Raven smiled mockingly, though she found Bellamy's suggestion adorable.

"You said yes, right?" Lexa questioned.

Raven huffed, "Duh, of course I said yes. He's really cute and he seems like a nice guy."

"Well, if he hurts you, he's gonna have to deal with me," Clarke deadpanned and Raven laughed.

"And me," Lexa added, making Raven laugh even harder.

As it was nearing lunch time, Lexa got up from where she was previously seated, and said apologetically, "I wish I could stay, but I really have to go. I usually eat with Lincoln on Sundays, and I don't want him to be alone."

"He lives on his own too?" Clarke asked, and immediately regretted having added the 'too', because Raven didn't know that Lexa lived on her own. The thought of Lexa being alone at her place all the time made Clarke cringe.

Raven frowned, but didn't say anything as Lexa replied, "Yes, he's eighteen so he applied for a small apartment. Normally, the Chancellor would have refused, but when Lincoln explained his situation, he had no choice but to accept."

"His situation?" Raven finally asked, curiosity getting the best of her. When she saw Lexa awkwardly moving from on foot to the other, she quickly added, "I'm sorry. I don't want to pry or anything. I was just curious, but you don't have to explain."

"I'd rather he tell you about that himself," Lexa clarified.

"Of course, we get it," Clarke agreed.

As Lexa told Clarke's parents goodbye, Abby gave her a quick hug, and Clarke did the same, though Lexa had the feeling that it had been unnecessarily longer than a friendly hug. Maybe she was just imagining things. Raven only waved to her goodbye, snickering because there seemed to be a lot of hugs suddenly, and she was so not a hug person.

The two best friends went back to Clarke's room, and Raven couldn't resist it anymore. She had to ask. "So… You and Lexa?"

"What do you mean 'me and Lexa'?" Clarke raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Come on!" Raven exclaimed. "You royally ignore each other all week, and now you're best buddies? She spends almost an entire day here?"

"There's nothing to say, really. She apologized, I got why she ignored me, and I forgave her. That's it." Clarke shrugged, dropping her gaze onto the floor, but she knew it wouldn't be enough for Raven.

"Clarke." Raven flashed her a pointed look.

"What?" Clarke huffed, raising her gaze to look at her friend.

"What's really going on with you two?"

"Nothing!" Clarke was exasperated now. That topic seemed really sensitive to her. "Gee, Rae, could you just drop it already? There's nothing to tell you because there's nothing going on."

Obviously, Raven wasn't convinced, but seeing her friend all defensive made her give in once more. Instead, she moved on to her favorite topic of the week, Bellamy. She still had to tell Clarke in details how he had asked her out, and Clarke laughed because she'd never seen her friend get so mushy about a boy before. She really hoped that it would work out between the two of them. They both deserved happiness. And with that thought, Clarke's mind was wandering once again, mostly focusing on her certain brunette whose biggest secret she had just found out, and she promised herself that she would do anything to protect Lexa.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope you like this chapter!  
> please let me know what you think  
> it's much lighter than the previous chapters!

A month had gone by since Lexa had finally told someone the truth about her parents. There were still things that she hadn't confessed about that tragedy, but she still needed time to process everything before she could be entirely ready to tell the blonde that part too.

Clarke had been amazing about it, showing her unconditional support while still managing to get Lexa's mind off of that tragic day. For the first time in two years, Lexa felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She finally felt as if she wasn't carrying all the sadness in the entire world, and it felt refreshing.

Of course, things weren't easy. Lexa still hurt like hell when she thought back to that day, but she finally started to sleep better at night, and she thanked the blonde for that. Clarke had opened her up to new things, and she had all these new friends, and that's what she focused on before going to sleep now. There were still nightmares, but they were becoming less frequent.

She and Lincoln were now part of the group, and Lexa couldn't be more grateful about that. Right now, she was on her way to Lincoln's place, where Anya probably already was, as it was their new tradition that Anya joined Lincoln and Lexa on Sundays to eat.

She knocked on the door and, unsurprisingly, Anya was the one to open it, grinning. "Lex, finally! How come you're always late?"

Lexa rolled her eyes. "I'm not that late."

"Yes, you are. But never mind," Lincoln butted in and flashed Lexa a smile in greeting.

They started to eat, just talking and making fun of each other, as usual, when Anya blurted out, out of nowhere, "So, how's it going with Clarke?"

Lincoln frowned, visibly oblivious as to what Anya was referring to.

Lexa frowned too. "What do you mean? We're friends, that's it."

"That's it?" Anya puffed. "Do you even realize that you're literally eye-fucking one another every time you look at each other?"

" _What_?" Lexa choked on her food. She couldn't believe what Anya had just said. "We don't do that!"

"Uh, yes, you do," Anya argued. "Come on, Linc, back me up on this one."

"Um, I plead the fifth."

Anya grunted. " _Of course._ "

Lincoln knew what he was risking, but he said it anyway, "It's true that you and Clarke seem… relatively close. Like closer than friends usually are around each other."

"I don't know what you're both talking about, I swear." She wasn't lying. Lexa had no idea that their behavior was unusual.

"Don't tell me you're _that_ oblivious! Lex, she takes your hand, you eye-fuck her, and then she eye-fucks right back," Anya insisted. "It's disgusting to watch the two of you, really."

Lexa only blushed, trying to think back to her interactions with the blonde during the past month. They had become pretty close, but they were just friends. Right? There was no eye-fucking or anything like that, right?

"You already admitted that you like her anyway," Anya added, pulling Lexa away from her thoughts and doubts.

"What?" Lincoln raised a questioning eyebrow at Lexa. "How come I didn't know about this?"

"Because you couldn't even see what's right under your nose. I had it figured out the first week that they started talking to each other," Anya replied, smirking at the boy.

"I saw that they were close, but I didn't know you had feelings for her Lexa." Lincoln turned to look at her.

The brunette's eyes widened. "Uh, who said anything about feelings?"

"Yeah, right, she just wants to fuck her, Linc. It's written all over her face whenever she's around her," Anya snickered, knowing that would piss off her friend.

"An!" Lexa couldn't believe the words that had come out of her best friend's mouth. "That's so not true."

"So you do have feelings for her, then?" Anya wiggled her eyebrows at the brunette.

Lexa opened her mouth, and then sighed, giving in. "Okay, I _might_ have feelings for her." Anya squealed happily, clapping her hands while Lincoln rolled his eyes. "But we're just friends, and I don't want to do anything that might ruin that."

"Didn't you hear what I just said? She obviously has the hots for you too!"

"Who even says that anymore?" Lincoln chuckled.

Lexa chose to ignore both Lincoln and Anya's comments, deciding that there was no way the blonde could ever reciprocate her feelings, and tried to create a distraction.

"What about you, Anya? How's it going that boy – uh, what's his name again – Murphy?" Lexa wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at her friend.

Anya simply narrowed her eyes to glare at her. "I see what you're doing here. And it's not going to work."

"Wait. Who's Murphy?" Lincoln was clearly confused.

"Don't you ever listen when we talk?" Anya huffed at him.

"No, I usually just stop listening after five minutes," he replied sarcastically. "That doesn't answer my question, though."

"John Murphy. We have one class together and he's really good at always pissing me off. Lexa's only using him to get off the hook." She pointed an accusatory finger in her direction. "You're not, just so we're clear."

"I figured," Lexa muttered, but they ended up changing the topic anyway, despite Anya and Lincoln kept making fun of her every now and then.

 

//

 

"Guys? Could you just stop kissing all the time? It's really making me uncomfortable…" Clarke politely, but forcefully, demanded.

"Sorry," Bellamy apologized, pulling away from Raven in a swift motion, who pouted in return.

Clarke smirked, because she had never, _ever_ seen her friend pout at someone, especially not a guy. Bellamy and Raven had been officially dating for two weeks now, and they both seemed over the moon. Clarke was really happy for them. She quickly grunted though and demanded, "How did I end up being the third wheel here?"

"Um, because Wells canceled?" Bellamy tried sarcastically.

"Oh wow! She's rubbing off on you." Clarke looked pointedly at Raven.

"What can I say? I'm a bad influence." Raven winked at Bellamy, and Clarke made a disgusted sound.

"That's it. I'm outta here," she said as she got up from Raven's desk chair.

Raven quickly grabbed her forearm and said, chuckling, "No, please, stay. I promise we'll behave."

Clarke stared at her scornfully for a few seconds, before sitting herself back on the chair. "You better. One kiss and I'm out."

"Come on, don't be like that. Just because you have no one to kiss doesn't mean that your life is meaningless." Raven smirked, knowing that the comment would annoy her friend.

"Ahah. I'm not looking for a relationship anyway," Clarke assured her best friend.

"Really?" Bellamy exclaimed, surprised, before dropping his gaze in embarrassment, because Clarke looked like she was ready to kill him.

Fortunately, Raven came to his rescue. "What he meant was..." She paused, probably because she thought it would add a dramatic effect to what was coming next. Clarke was startled when she almost yelled, "Why haven't you asked Lexa out on a date already?"

"That's not what he meant at all, right Bell?" Clarke stared at him.

"It's already been a month, and you two are still friends. I mean, it's obvious that it's not just a friendship, right Bell?"

Raven looked at her boyfriend expectantly, and Clarke did the same. His gaze drifted between the two of them, before he smiled apologetically at Clarke. "Yeah, pretty much everyone can see that you two like each other. Sorry, Clarke."

Clarke sighed a long sigh before flashing Raven a glare as her friend let out a happy squeal, happy to have someone backing her up for once. "I'm gonna say this one last time. I. Don't. Like. Lexa."

Raven sighed at the stubbornness of her friend. It had been just over a month, and she still denied her crush on the brunette. How stubborn could she get?

Bellamy seemed to sense the tension, and he tried to lighten up the mood, "So, anything planned for next weekend guys?"

"I think Monty wanted to throw a small party at his place. His mom is dating someone, and she told him she wouldn't be here on Friday, so we would have the place to ourselves," Clarke answered.

"Great! It's been so long since we have been to a party!" Raven exclaimed enthusiastically. She loved parties, especially parties with Monty, because he was the go-to guy for brewing alcohol illegally in their group.

"I agree." As much as Clarke didn't want her friends to notice, she was feeling upset because of their "innocent" comments from earlier. She needed some time alone, to think. She got up again, really intending to leave this time. "Look guys, it's not that I'm not having fun with you, but I have to go now. My dad had something planned for tonight I think."

"Okay, see you tomorrow in first period," Raven replied, not moving away from her boyfriend's arms.

"Yeah, see you," Clarke tossed back, and couldn't fight the urge to add, "Be safe guys, it's really important."

She smirked as Bellamy threw a pillow at her, and Raven huffed. "You sound so much like one of the ads from before the bombs." Clarke exited, laughing loudly. The blush on Raven's face hadn't gone unnoticed by her.

Once Clarke was out of Raven's place, she literally had no idea what to do. She didn't want to go home, because her parents were there, and she really wanted to be alone. Her thoughts were a mess, and she found herself thinking about the brunette who was the very cause of that. She already knew she had a crush on her, but could it be more than that? Could Clarke really have feelings for Lexa?

Nah, that was crazy. Crushing on a friend happened from time to time, it would just go away eventually. Or at least, that was what Clarke was trying to tell herself, because the more time she spent with the brunette, the more drawn to her she felt.

She'll get over her eventually, right? She _had_ to. Lexa saw her only as a friend, and even if not, she wasn't in any case ready to be in a relationship. Or maybe she was. Clarke was so confused.

_But she's not interested anyway, so stop thinking about it and get over her._

As she was wandering around the hallways of the Ark, she realized that she was headed toward where their group had watched the moon rise the other day. It occurred to her that she would love to draw the moon rise someday, but was suddenly pulled away from her thoughts when she noticed someone was already there. And that someone was none other than Lexa.

_Really? Just when I'm trying_ not _to think about her?_

As much as Clarke wanted some time alone, she couldn't resist the little voice in her head that urged her to sit next to the brunette. She didn't want to startle her though, so she softly called first, "Lexa?"

The brunette seemed to be in deep thought, but as soon as she heard the blonde's voice, she turned her head and smiled a small smile. "Hey, Clarke. What are you doing here by yourself?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Clarke gave her a pointed look, still smiling as she approached her friend and took seat next to her.

"I just needed some time, to think. And you? What's your excuse?" Lexa was looking at her expectantly.

"Same as you. I wanted some time alone," Clarke replied, her gaze focused on the nothingness in front of them. From where they sat, the Earth couldn't be seen, so they just observed the stars ahead.

"Oh, do you want to me to go? I understand if you do." Lexa didn't want to intrude. Though it was the blonde that accidentally invaded her space, she could totally understand if she wanted to be alone.

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you're here actually." Clarke then frowned. "Unless you want to be alone?"

Lexa smiled, shaking her head. "I'm glad you're here too," she insisted, nudging the blonde's shoulder a little.

Clarke instantly returned the smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Lexa asked, concerned. As Clarke kept her gaze focused on the window, she added, "If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine, but if you do, I'm here, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Clarke let out a light breath, still not looking away from the stars. She wished she had a sketchbook with her right now, the sight was beautiful. "Thank you."

She couldn't talk to Lexa about her possible feelings for her, nor could she talk to Raven. Because as much as she trusted her best friend with her secrets, she knew Raven would say to "go for it", because she was convinced that Lexa felt the same. The blonde was sure that it was not the case. She would have to find a way to forget her romantic feelings for the brunette, for it could jeopardize their entire friendship.

"Don't mention it." Lexa still had the feeling that the blonde needed to talk though. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Clarke finally looked away from the window to meet Lexa's green eyes. She got lost in them for a second before dropping her gaze. "Yeah, I'm sure." She raised it once more, making sure she didn't focus on Lexa's eyes too long. "And you? Want to talk about what you needed to think about?"

_You_ , Lexa thought, and scowled at herself. _You promised Lexa. And you don't want to break that promise._

Lexa shrugged. "Just stuff and life in general, I guess," she lied. She didn't want Clarke to know that she'd been all the brunette could think about lately.

"Oh, okay."

They fell into a comfortable silence, just staring at the emptiness the space offered them. They stayed like this for half an hour, before Clarke realized that they had grown significantly closer, and that their arms and legs were now brushing against each other. Shivering a little at the slight touch, she quickly scooted away a bit, so she wasn't touching Lexa at all. She spotted the brunette's confused face, probably wondering why she was putting some distance between them. She had never done that throughout the past month. Whenever they had hung out, they were always excessively close to one another, and Lexa enjoyed it, even seeking the contact, which was something that she usually never did.

"Something wrong?" she asked, putting her hand on Clarke's back, but instantly removed it when she felt Clarke shivering again. "You cold?" She furrowed her eyebrows. People were almost never cold on the Ark, because despite the low temperature of the air, they were used to it.

"Yeah, a bit," Clarke lied, not daring to make eye contact with Lexa.

The brunette suggested, "We could go back to your place, it will be less cold but you could still grab a jacket or something." Lexa was in a shirt, otherwise she would have offered to give something to the blonde.

Clarke nodded in agreement. "Okay, my mom will be happy to see you."

Lexa smiled and got up, offering her hand to help the blonde up. Clarke took it hesitantly, and they made their way back to Clarke's apartment. As she expected, as soon as Abby saw Lexa, the two of them smiled fondly at one another. It was obvious that they cared deeply for each other, and that Abby had completely forgiven the brunette for her two years of silence. They had talked about it once, when Lexa had left, and Abby had confessed that she was just glad to see that the brunette was okay, and that she didn't want to dwell on the past. She had even thanked Clarke, because she had said it was obvious that her daughter made Lexa happy, and Clarke had only smiled, grateful for that as well.

"Lexa! Are you staying with us tonight?"

Clarke looked at her expectantly. Despite the awkwardness that had settled a little bit between them after Clarke had put some distance between them, she still didn't want the brunette to leave.

Lexa knew there was no one waiting for her at home anyway, so she might as well stay here. "If that's okay with you, I'd love to." She smiled as Abby nodded her head.

Jake got out of his bedroom, and he smiled at their guest. "Good to see you, Lexa. How was your weekend?"

"It was okay," the brunette replied, as she and Clarke were taking a seat at the table. "But nothing exciting."

Clarke lost herself in her own thoughts once again, thinking back to Lexa's ridiculously small place. Since she lived alone, Jaha had probably assigned her the smallest place possible, so she was glad that the brunette was spending more and more time here, with her and her family, in their bigger apartment.

Smiling, she tried to get back into the conversation again with a suggestion. "Who wants to do a little contest?"

Her dad looked carefully at her. "Chess?"

As she nodded, Lexa smiled. "I'm in. I'm told I'm a killer when it comes to chess. Lincoln always gets his ass dragged."

"Language," Abby scowled, though her lips were curved in a half smile.

"Sorry." Lexa blushed.

"Yeah, well, tone it down a bit, Lex. You'll be less cocky when _I'm_ the one dragging your ass." Clarke smirked.

"Clarke!"

"Sorry mom." She flashed her an innocent smile.

"Uh huh, we'll see about that." Lexa returned the smirk, not intimidated in the slightest.

"Oh, this is gonna be good. Lexa, you have no idea who you're up against, Clarke has beaten the champion of chess three times already," Jake added, obviously looking forward to what was to come.

"Who is that?" Lexa asked curiously.

"Wells," Abby replied. "He's the one who taught Clarke how to play."

"And now the student has become the master," Clarke replied cockily.

"I'm so going to savor the look on your face when you lose."

"I'm team Clarke here. I know better than to bet against my own daughter," Jake said, amused.

"Mom?" Clarke asked as she and Lexa were looking at her expectantly.

"Sorry sweetheart, but I'm with Lexa here. It will do you some good to get your ass dragged."

"Mom!" Clarke chuckled at her mom's language.

"Thank you, Abby. I shall not disappoint you," Lexa thanked Clarke's mom with a smirk.

Clarke rolled her eyes as she set up the chessboard between her and the brunette, and sat across from her. "Now are you playing or what?"

 

//

 

"Checkmate!"

"What? How is that even possible?"

Jake shook his head in disbelief, and Lexa gave Abby a high five.

"Well played, kiddo." Jake shook Lexa's hand dramatically, and turned to his defeated daughter. "I can't understand how you lost, Clarke, but you have to admit that the girl is good."

Clarke was still staring at the chessboard in front of her. She couldn't believe she had just lost. She heard Abby mutter, "That will teach her," and she protested, "Hey!"

"What?" Lexa was smirking. "Can't handle being a loser?"

Seeing that Clarke looked so hurt over her defeat, Lexa went and put a comforting hand on her back. "Come on, you can still beat Wells." She offered her other hand to Clarke, who shook it after a moment.

"Well played, Woods, well played." Clarke had to accept it, she had found someone better at chess than she was.

"Thanks, Griffin. You weren't so bad yourself. I almost thought I wouldn't win for a minute there," Lexa admitted.

As the evening progressed, Lexa found herself laughing at the blonde's numerous pouts. She found it adorable that the blonde was such a bad loser. Her smile faded every time it appeared, though, because she kept on finding herself thinking bitterly, _It's too late. I think you've already broken your promise._


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where a new character is introduced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone  
> as always, I really hope you like this chapter, it's a longer one

"Okay, so you wanted to show me something?" Raven asked, looking at her boyfriend curiously as they were walking hand in hand back to Bellamy's apartment.

"Not show you something. Introduce you to someone," Bellamy corrected, smiling.

Raven's eyes widened and she scoffed, "You're not going to introduce me to your mother, are you?" Even though she was half joking, she was beginning to freak out a little.

Bellamy saw her worried eyes, and he quickly reassured her, "No, don't worry. But there is someone really important to me that I want you to meet."

Raven let out a relieved sigh, as she wondered who could be so important to Bellamy that she needed to meet. As they finally reached his apartment, Bellamy closed the door behind them and, after making sure his mother wasn't around, he started moving the small table in the center of the room. Raven's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she noticed there was a hidden trapdoor on the floor.

Bellamy got up and looked intently at his girlfriend. "Before I open this, I need you to promise me something."

Raven was dumbfounded. Was someone _actually_ _in there_?

Seeing that his girlfriend was too shocked to reply, he continued, "You can never tell anyone about this." He reached out to take her hands in his own, and she nodded slightly, her eyes never leaving the trapdoor.

Bellamy finally opened it, and Raven gasped as a young and visibly very intimidated brunette got out of her hiding spot. "Raven, this is Octavia, my sister." He turned to look at his _sister_. "O, this is Raven, my incredible girlfriend."

The girl – Octavia – was looking at her with shy green eyes, as if she was scared that Raven would immediately turn her in. The girl looked at her brother for reassurance, and he smiled at her. She smiled in return and looked back to Raven, smiling and opening her arms to hug her. Raven was certainly not expecting that, so she just stood there for a few seconds before reciprocating the hug and saying in a soft, still somewhat unsure voice, "Hi, Octavia."

She didn't know what else she could say. Her mind still couldn't grasp around the fact that Bellamy had a sister. Nobody had siblings on the Ark, and as much as the children didn't want to admit it, they all dreamed of what it would be like to have one. There had been a few cases where parents would hide a second child in their apartment, but they were always turned in or discovered by random patrols. The girl seemed to be sixteen years old, and Raven was in awe that Bellamy's family had managed to keep her a secret for so long. The few cases she had heard about always ended _very_ badly. The parents being floated, and the secret child taken away from their sibling until they could get floated at eighteen.

Raven pulled away from Bellamy's _sister_ – still having a hard time grasping the fact that he _did_ have a sister – and scrutinized her. She didn't seem as shy anymore, she guessed that she trusted her brother very much, and that his presence was enough for her to feel safe in the company of a complete stranger.

Bellamy was looking at her expectantly, searching for any sign in Raven's face, any indication that would tell him if she would keep their secret or not. He trusted her enough to know that she would never turn them in, but he still wanted to make sure she wouldn't tell their friends.

"It's really nice to meet you," Octavia said, still grinning wildly. "I've never met anyone… outside of my family I mean." She let out an awkward laugh and Raven chuckled, though it was stiff.

"Nice to meet you too, Octavia. Even though I had no idea you existed." Raven flashed Bellamy a pointed look, and he smiled shyly in return. She saw Octavia frown a little, probably a little hurt by the comment. "I didn't mean that in a bad way or anything," Raven clarified, raising her hand in the air as if to emphasize that she wasn't trying to be mean.

"No, of course." Octavia smiled reassuringly, the frown already gone. "Like I said, it's the first time I'm meeting anyone that's not part of our family."

"Well," Raven started as she looked intently at both Blake siblings, "your secret is safe with me. I promise I won't say anything."

"Even to our friends?" Bellamy queried.

"I promised, didn't I?" Raven smiled. "But I really think you should tell them. You know they're trustworthy."

"I know, but I'm not so sure about this. It took me a long time before deciding to introduce you to her," Bellamy replied.

"I'm the only reason he did it, to be honest," Octavia stepped in, smiling playfully at her brother.

"True," he snorted. "She wouldn't stop bugging me, she wanted to meet you so badly it was becoming annoying."

"I couldn't let my brother date just _anyone_ , could I?" Octavia joked as she nudged him in the side a little. Octavia looked back at Raven. "Now, how about we get to know each other so I can tell you all about the embarrassing things Bell's done."

Bellamy rolled his eyes, though he was smiling. Octavia motioned for them to sit around the table, once she had put it back in place. Raven sat quietly, still in shock. Octavia must have been the reason Bellamy had been spending so much time alone in his house. It wasn't because his mother was feeling depressed, it was because he wanted to spend time with his sister. Octavia was the reason Bellamy had been so secretive and reluctant to have them stopping at his apartment.

They spent an entire hour just laughing and talking about everything. Octavia was asking a lot of questions about how the Ark was, how the space and Earth looked like, and Raven felt a sharp pang in her heart. She would never be able to see all of this, she was trapped here, under the floor. She didn't know anyone beside her own family – and now Raven – so the brunette suggested, "Seriously, why don't you tell our friends about Octavia?" She noticed that Octavia was looking expectantly at her brother now. "This way, we could all hang out here and your sister won't be alone most of the time."

Octavia nodded in agreement, obviously liking the idea very much. "Yeah Bell, I'm sure that you can trust them. At least, from what you told me about them, they seem really trustworthy."

Bellamy gazed sadly at his sister. "You know mom would never allow that. She's doesn't even know that I introduced you to Raven," he said as he took Raven's hand in his. Raven squeezed it lightly. It hit Raven one more time that all the times he wasn't hanging out with their friends, he was keeping his sister company, and her heart swell a little.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you. We both know she's tired of keeping me hidden all the time. She hardly ever goes out except for work, she doesn't want to leave me alone, and it's the same for you." Octavia put her hand on her brother's shoulder, forcing him to look her in the eye. "I don't want to be the reason you're stuck here anymore. The only one who's stuck in this house is me, and you shouldn't have to choose between your friends and me." Green eyes never left brown ones. "You know you can have both if you just tell them. I would get to know them, get a chance to make real friends outside our family. Because as much as I love you and mom, I'm getting tired of see your faces all the time," she finished with a half smile, which her brother and Raven returned.

Bellamy let out a long sigh, breaking away from Octavia's stare, and he finally said in a soft voice, looking back at his sister with a smile, "I promise you I'll think about it."

"Okay," Octavia replied, smiling back at him, because she knew she had almost won. Now, she would work on convincing their mother.

"Well, isn't that a beautiful bonding moment between the Blake siblings?" Raven smirked. "You guys could be famous if it wasn't so risky. 'The Blake siblings', the only siblings on the Ark."

"I've always said our family was special, especially me." Octavia winked at Raven.

"Wow, self-confident much?" Raven replied as she grinned. Whatever Bellamy's decision was, and even if they didn't manage to convince her mom, she had the feeling Octavia and she would be really good friends.

 

//

 

"You're unusually quiet today, Rae," Anya told Raven as they were hanging out with Lexa, Clarke and Lincoln at the latter's place.

Seeing that the brunette didn't reply, only keeping her gaze focused on the floor, Anya snapped her fingers in front of her, startling her. Confused as to why everyone was looking at her, she asked, "What?"

"You're acting weird today." Clarke had noticed it too, and she knew her best friend well enough to know that she wouldn't talk about whatever it was that was bothering her in front of everyone.

"Are things okay with you and Bellamy?" Lincoln asked, after Raven still hadn't replied to Anya.

"Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?" Raven raised a confused eyebrow.

"I don't know. I thought it might have been the reason you've been so off the entire afternoon," he shrugged.

"I was just lost in my thoughts, I guess." Raven shrugged it off.

"Come on, that wouldn't surprise me from Lexa –" Lexa shoved Anya playfully in the arm, feigning offense. "– but not from my favorite sassy bean."

"I find that nickname highly offensive," Raven scoffed, though it was obvious she was amused by it. "I have nothing to do with a bean."

"I wonder what lover boy did to make you so thoughtful," Anya mused.

"Lover boy?" Lexa chuckled. "That doesn't really suit him".

"Yeah well, my creativity for nicknames is on a break right now," Anya explained.

Raven rolled her eyes. "He didn't do anything. Am I not allowed to get lost in my own thoughts?"

Anya feigned thinking for a minute. "Um, no. You're just not the type of person to over think things, and it looked like that's what you were doing."

"Can we just drop it?" Raven asked, exasperated.

Anya just narrowed her eyes at her so Clarke felt the need to come to Raven's rescue. "So, who's up for that party this weekend?"

It was already Wednesday, and by now, Monty had told everyone he was throwing a party on Friday. They all knew that it meant lots of alcohol and fun.

Lexa backed Clarke up, seeing that no one was going to answer, "I'm really looking forward to it actually. School's already starting to get on my nerves."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Clarke replied as the others were starting a conversation about who was going to win the next basketball game. "I don't get a word of what the teacher's saying in English. I mean, Sanders is a good teacher, but I don't really get where she's going with all those references."

"Yeah, same goes with me in bio," Lexa said, frowning. Her face lit up though, as she offered, "Do you need help in English? I could totally explain some things to you if you want."

Clarke's face lit up too in a grin. "Yeah, that'd be great. And I could give you a hand in bio in return, since I'm really into that scientific stuff and everything."

Lexa smiled back. "Makes sense, since you want to be a doctor."

Before Clarke could reply, Anya interrupted the exchange, "Lex, you need to tell Raven that we're gonna crush Bellamy's team at our first game tomorrow."

There was not enough space or resources on the Ark to allow their high school to have too many sport teams, so it was basically boys against girls. Many had complained about that to Chancellor Jaha, saying it was sexist, and he had expressed the fact that he was going to change that the following year, making two co-ed. This year, however, followed the tradition, and it was basically Lexa's team against Bellamy's team, since they were both the respective captains of their teams.

"Please." Lexa looked confidently at Raven. "Your boyfriend doesn't stand a chance against us."

"Oh really? I guess we'll see about that tomorrow then," Raven replied, smiling confidently.

"Wanna bet?" Anya smirked, enjoying the idea of spicing things up a bit.

"What would you bet?" Clarke asked, raising a curious eyebrow. She wanted to see where this was going.

"I don't know." Anya thought for a minute, Raven looking expectantly at her. When she found an idea, her eyes glowed mischievously. "The loser has to call the winner 'Your highness' for a month, and also has to bow every time they walk into a room."

"Minus the bow, I'm in." Raven smirked.

"What? Having second thoughts? Don't think your boyfriend's gonna win anymore?" Anya replied playfully.

"Okay, forget what I said. I'm in anyway. I really want to erase that smug look from your face."

As Raven and Anya got into a staring contest, Lincoln, Lexa and Clarke decided to actually try to get some work done. They spent the afternoon just talking once they finished their assignments, and Clarke and Lexa helped each other out in the three classes they shared.

 

//

 

The following day, Clarke decided to drop by Lexa's practice to watch her play. She hadn't done that since they became so close, and she thought that it would be good to see her play since she wouldn't be going to that game the next day. She wasn't particularly into competition, and she'd rather get ready for the party than watch the game.

When she entered, she took a seat on the front row of the bleachers, and got out her sketchbook again, like she had done the first time – and only time – she had come to see the brunette and her friend play. Practice was already nearly finished, but Clarke used the remaining time to perfect her drawing of Anya and Lexa – even though it was obvious that Lexa was the subject of the drawing.

Lexa only noticed her before going into the small locker room, and she made her way toward her instead, smiling.

"Hey! Didn't think I'd see you here. You only came once," Lexa said, though it was obvious she appreciated the blonde's presence.

"I had nothing to do, and I figured why not." Clare smiled, putting her sketchbook down. Lexa glanced at it briefly and Clarke blushed. Even though the brunette had already seen the drawing, Clarke was still uncomfortable at the idea that Lexa could find it weird that she was drawing her.

"I thought you weren't really into sports."

"I'm not." Clarke nodded. "But that doesn't mean I can't come support my friends."

"Well, how about you come to see the game tomorrow then?" Lexa offered, holding her breath.

Clarke hesitated for a second, because she hadn't planned on coming at all, even though Raven had asked that they go together. Finally though, she gave in, because how could anyone resist those eyes?

_Get ahold of yourself, Griffin. She's only asking you that as a friend, obviously._

"Yeah, okay, I'll come," Clarke replied, smiling.

"Great," Lexa exclaimed, grinning in return.

"But only if I get my revenge at chess."

Lexa smirked. "Want to get your ass kicked again, Griff?" Clarke only attempted to glare at her – though she failed miserably – so Lexa nodded. "Deal."

As Clarke asked the brunette to hang out at her place for the rest of the afternoon, Lexa nodded and turned around to finally go to the locker room. It didn't take long for her to come out, but when she did, Clarke frowned. Lexa was talking to a small blonde, a huge smile on her face. Clarke cringed as the said blonde put her arm on Lexa's, and Lexa chuckled at something she had said. She noticed Lexa glancing at her, and she tried to regain some composure before the brunette could realize that she was slightly jealous.

Because she had no reason to be, really. Lexa was just a friend. Yes, Clarke had a crush on her, but no, that did not give her the right to get jealous. If anything, she should support Lexa if she was interested in that girl. But telling that to herself didn't make it any less painful.

Lexa eventually waved goodbye at the girl and came to meet Clarke again.

"Ready to go?"

"Yep." Clarke tried to speak in the most enthusiastic voice she could find, though she was reeling inside.

Later, when they were both in Clarke's room – Lexa as per usual on her bed and Clarke at her desk finishing another drawing – the blonde couldn't keep her question to herself anymore. "So, who was that girl you were talking to after practice?"

Lexa perked her head up and thought for a second, as if she didn't remember who Clarke was talking about. Eventually, she asked, "Monroe? She's just a girl from my team. Why?"

"No reason." Clarke shrugged, not taking her eyes off of her drawing though she desperately wanted to glance at Lexa's reaction when she said, "You guys just seemed to have a fun conversation, and I was wondering if you liked her."

_Wow, could you be any more obvious?_

Clarke just couldn't keep her mouth shut sometimes. She finally dared to look at Lexa, who was now frowning at her notebook.

"She's nice, and we get along quite well, but I don't like her in _that_ way if that's what you're asking."

"Why not?"

_Really, Clarke?_

She sighed internally at herself, looking down at her drawing even though she couldn't focus on anything except on the brunette.

Lexa's eyebrows furrowed even more. "I don't know. She's cute, but I don't really know her that well. She's just a nice girl in my team, nothing more."

Clarke only nodded, but as if to bury herself deeper, she queried, "Anyone else that might have peeked your interest?" She could sense Lexa getting uncomfortable, and she immediately regretted her question. "You don't have to answer that, I was just curious, that's all."

"It's okay," Lexa reassured her. "And to answer your question, no, I don't have my eye on anyone." Lexa quickly glanced at her. "You?"

Clarke looked up and chuckled. "What? Do I like someone?" Lexa nodded. "Uh, no." _Lie._ "Though, that boy Finn in our history class is kind of cute."

What kind of game was she playing? Clarke had no idea. She really didn't know what was going on in her head sometimes.

Lexa tried to ignore the sharp pang in her chest, instead wanting to look interested rather than disgusted. "Really? The one with the long hair?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's not that long." She paused, before deciding that this boy might be a good way to get her mind off of Lexa. He seemed nice, at least, from what Clarke could tell from the few little times they had talked. "I don't know, we haven't talked much, but he just seems really nice and funny."

Lexa couldn't pretend anymore, though she had hardly tried honestly, so she decided to change the topic. "What should I expect from the party tomorrow?"

Clarke smirked. "Lots of drinking games, and a huge hangover the next morning."

Lexa let out a light hearted laugh that made Clarke's smirk turn into a smile. Yes, she definitely liked that sound, and Finn was probably not going to be enough to change that. "Yeah, I heard Monty is actually a specialist when it comes to brewing alcohol."

Before either of them could add anything, Raven burst into Clarke's room.

"Guys, we kinda have an emergency situation... I need you to come with me," she stated, leaving no room for argument.

Lexa got up and rolled her eyes. "Hello to you too, Raven."

"We saw each other this morning." Raven motioned for them to hurry. "Now come on, we need to split up and get everyone else. We'll meet at Bellamy's place."

"Is he okay?" Clarke asked. She hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Raven alone, and she wondered if, despite what she had claimed, Bellamy was in fact the reason Raven had been so off lately.

"Yeah, he's fine," Raven answered, and then only asked them to go look for Jasper, Monty and Lincoln before meeting her at Bellamy's before leaving in a rush.

Clarke looked at Lexa, confused at her friend's more than odd behavior. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know," Lexa replied, just as stunned. "She's your best friend, not mine."

They did as Raven told them and, after a few questions that they didn't have the answers to and a few grunts, the three boys finally agreed to come with them. Clarke knocked on Bellamy's front door, and Raven soon opened, motioning for them to come in.

Anya was already there, only Wells was missing Clarke noticed. "Why isn't Wells here?"

"Because what I'm about to tell you cannot be repeated to the Chancellor's son," Bellamy replied, extremely uncomfortable as he shifted from one foot to the other. Raven grabbed his hand and he stared at her for a moment before he turned back to face everyone. "I have a sister."

Since he had no idea how to say this, he just blurted it out, plain and simple. Everyone stared at him, the room completely silent. He saw Clarke and Lincoln gasp, while Anya's and Lexa's faces remained unreadable. The first ones to react were Jasper and Monty, both started smiling like idiots, claiming that it was 'so cool'.

"Where is she?" Lincoln asked, dumbfounded. "I mean, where are you hiding her?"

Bellamy just lifted one finger in the air, indicating them to wait a minute, and he started moving the table in the center of the room. He revealed the hidden trapdoor and quickly opened it, Raven still standing beside him. He helped a green eyed brunette out of the hidden spot, and the girl made eye contact with each of them, slowly but also somewhat challengingly, as if she wanted to gauge everyone to see if they were worthy of her and her brother's trust.

"Hi," the girl said. She looked about their age, just a couple of years younger perhaps.

"Hi!" Jasper was the first one to react, smiling at her.

Bellamy stepped in to stand beside his sister, Raven standing on her left side. "Guys, this is Octavia. O, these people are my closest friends. You can trust them."

"I know," she said, looking back at him, her eyes getting softer. "If you trust them, I trust them too."

Bellamy nodded and smiled a confident smile while Octavia looked back at everyone, lingering a little on Lincoln.

"I know this must be surprising for you, and you're probably wondering how I survived this long without anyone finding out I existed. I'll tell you why." She narrowed her eyes a little bit, and Clarke thought she looked scary now, as if she was someone people shouldn't mess with. "My family has always done everything to protect me. We never told anyone that I existed, and yet, we're telling you know. So if my brother trusted you enough with our secret, I take it you won't disappoint him, or me."

Clarke saw Anya smiling a half smile, she was obviously liking this girl already. Lincoln was the first one to approach her, and he reached out his hand to her.

"Lincoln. It's a pleasure to meet you, Octavia." She stared at him before shaking his hand, and he quickly added, "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with us." He looked back at the others, and everyone nodded in agreement.

To the general surprise though, Anya blurted out, "I have a sister too."

Lexa and Lincoln looked at her, smiling as if they were appreciating her honesty, because of course, they already knew, so they weren't the least bit surprised.

Octavia looked at her with a glint in her eyes. "You do?"

Anya nodded slightly. "Her name's Tris. She's thirteen."

Bellamy put his hand on Anya's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "Thanks for telling us. And of course, we'll protect your secret as well."

Everyone else nodded and Jasper stated, shaking his head, "I didn't know there were that many siblings on the Ark. So many secrets."

Once they overcame the shock of the discovery, they all sat at the table and started to get to know Octavia and talk a bit about Tris. Once it was nearing dinner time, Bellamy stood up. "I'm sorry, I wish you could stay longer guys, but our mom is about to come home. She's not here often, because she has three different jobs to have enough food for the three of us, but she doesn't know we told you, and she wouldn't be happy about it. O and I plan to tell her tonight, but it'd be best if you weren't there when we do tell her." He glanced nervously at Raven. "Same goes for you, Rae."

Lexa got up, and everyone followed suit. "Don't worry, we get it," she said. She looked back at Octavia, who seemed sad to see them go. "I'm happy that your brother told us about you, Octavia. You seem like a great girl."

Jasper suddenly suggested, "Hey, why don't we have the party here tomorrow night?"

"I don't think Bellamy's mom would be willing to have a bunch of teens suddenly partying with her secret daughter," Anya replied warily.

"True," Bellamy agreed.

"Why don't we stop by tomorrow night, to prove to her that she can trust us?" Clarke offered. "If she decides to trust us, we can have the party here on Saturday night. I wouldn't mind waiting another day."

"You know what?" Bellamy smiled. "That's a great idea."

Octavia squealed happily and Monty frowned. "It's going to be risky for me to walk around the Ark with a bag full of booze, though. I usually just have a ten minutes walk from my shed to my house."

Octavia's face immediately fell. "Oh, forget about it then. You're already risking too much by keeping our secret."

Monty smiled at her. "I said it was going to be risky, I didn't say I wasn't going to do it."

"You sure?" Octavia asked.

"Of course he's sure. He's got his best friend helping him to not to screw things up. What could go wrong?" Jasper butted in, smiling at the girl with his arm around Monty's shoulder. When he saw everyone's – except for Octavia who didn't really know him – pointed looks, he added, "Don't answer that, actually."

"Great! Then it's settled," Raven said, looking at Bellamy. "We'll put on our best smiles for your mom, and we will have the party here."

Bellamy closed the door after everyone had left, and he leaned on it a little bit, making eye contact with his sister. His nervousness matched the anxiety he detected in her eyes too.

"I really hope mom sees how great they are," she said.

He sighed a little and replied, "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts through comments and kudos


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's game time (and of course party time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, sorry I haven't been updating much lately. Uni is crazy and I just can't find the time to write  
> I hope you like the chapter tho  
> Enjoy!

"What finally convinced you to come to the game?" Raven asked Clarke on Friday evening, as they were making their way to where the game would take place. She smirked as she continued, "Or should I say, who?"

Clarke rolled her eyes, fully aware of who she was referencing. She tended to do that a lot around her best friend lately, roll her eyes. She briefly wondered if she should just admit her growing feelings for the brunette to Raven, but decided against it. Doing so would go against what she was trying to achieve – suppress said growing feelings.

"We made a deal. I come and support her at her game and I get my revenge at chess." Clarke tried to suppress her blush, but it was in vain.

"What? She actually beat you at chess?" Raven was incredulous. Nobody ever beat Clarke at chess, not even Wells, who previously claimed to be the master at that game. "I must say, I really like that girl."

_So do I,_ the blonde thought.

Clarke smiled, happy that everyone got along so well. She was incredibly grateful to have friends like that, and if Bellamy admitting his secret to them the previous day was anything to go by, they were like family by now. She felt bad for Wells though, because if the party was at Octavia's house, that meant he couldn't go. She made a mental note to try and convince Bellamy to tell him, for she knew Wells would never betray his secret. Bellamy was his friend too after all.

"So it means you and I aren't on the same team then." Raven narrowed her eyes at her best friend.

Clarke rolled her eyes again. "You know I really couldn't care less about that stupid game."

"Why are you going then? Just to get your revenge at chess?" Raven asked playfully, turning Clarke's cheeks into a bright red.

Clarke let out a relieved breath when they arrived at the gymnasium. It was the same place that Lexa's team practiced in, which was very small, and there were very few bleachers, so people usually fought hard to have a seat. Luckily for them, they'd had the great idea to show up before most of the crowd would arrive, so they had plenty of seats left.

Bellamy's team was the first to arrive on the pitch, and Raven immediately got up to wish her boyfriend good luck with a kiss, which made Clarke fake disgust when Raven got back to her seat, her best friend sticking her tongue out in a very mature way as an answer.

When it was the opposite team's turn to get on the field though, Clarke couldn't contain her excitement. As much as she claimed finding every sport really dull, she couldn't help but feel excited about this one in particular. The supporters were all cheering from their seats, and waiting impatiently for the game to begin.

She quickly spotted Lexa, smiling at how adorable she was, focused on the other team with a small frown on her beautiful face. Raven noticed and smirked. "Oh my god, you're so whipped by this girl!"

Clarke chose to ignore her best friend, instead focusing on the brunette and smiling even wider when Lexa spotted her and smiled fondly at the blonde. She quickly waved her hand in their direction, and Clarke did the same. Raven only nodded at her with a somewhat threatening glare, reminding the brunette that she was here to support her boyfriend, and her boyfriend _only_. After all, her dignity was at stake after her bet with Anya.

The game soon started, and it went by pretty fast, much to Clarke's surprise. She found herself cheering a lot more than she thought she would, and even standing up in excitement with the others a couple of times. The truth was, Lexa's team was crushing Bellamy's. Anya and Lexa were obviously playing on the offensive, both girls perfectly in sync and almost always succeeding in their moves. Clarke had to admit that Bellamy's team wasn't that bad either though, but despite all of their efforts it just wasn't enough to keep up with the brunette's.

By the end of the game, half of the crowd was really disappointed in the result, while the other half – including Clarke – was actively cheering and beaming. Clarke saw Anya grabbing Lexa from behind to lift her up a bit in the air, which made the brunette laugh heartily. The winning team gathered and celebrated their victory for a minute before Lexa separated herself from the group to go to Bellamy. She offered her hand, which he grabbed without hesitation, smiling bitterly but still congratulating her on her team's victory.

Instead of going back to her team who was cheering for its captain, the brunette raised her hand to indicate she needed a minute, and to Clarke's surprise, she made her way toward her, while Raven went to see Bellamy.

"Glad you came." Lexa grinned at the blonde.

"Me too," Clarke replied with a smile of her own. "It was actually pretty great. And the look on Bellamy's face every time you scored was priceless. Congrats, your team was really impressive."

Lexa's grin turned into a cocky smirk and she glanced at her team, obviously very proud. Anya called after her, and Lexa turned back to Clarke. "I gotta go, but I'll see you later at Bellamy's?"

"Yep, you will."

"Great." Lexa smiled as she went back to Anya and the team.

Raven came back with Bellamy only a few minutes later, hand in hand, and Clarke offered a comforting smile to him. "Great game, Bell. It was tight."

"Are you kidding?" he asked with a bitter smile. "Lexa's team literally crushed mine."

"Looks like you can be proud of your girlfriend," Raven said with a smirk.

Clarke only rolled her eyes and put a comforting hand on Bellamy's shoulder. "Come on, at least we have a party tomorrow night to cheer you up."

Bellamy glanced around to make sure no one was listening before muttering, "O is so gonna make fun of me."

"That's what you get for being so cocky about your talent when you have none."

They all turned to see Anya standing behind them, a playful smirk on her lips.

"Came here to gloat?" Bellamy replied quietly.

"Nah." Anya's smirk turned into a genuine smile, which was rare for her. "It was a good game. Next time, you'll be more prepared, and maybe, just maybe, you'll actually have a chance to win."

Bellamy snorted, but he knew Anya was just being Anya, and she didn't mean any harm. He congratulated her, just like he did with Lexa. Anya gloated at Raven, because she had won her bet, and Raven attempted to back out of it, in vain. Everyone soon parted ways, because they each had a specific mission to accomplish before going to see Bellamy and Octavia's mom.

Clarke had told her mom that she would retrieve their rations for the night, so that's what she did after the game. She came back home to put a bit of her own ration aside, and went out again, finally heading to Bellamy's apartment.

They had all agreed to meet there an hour after the game, and Clarke really hoped Aurora Blake would see that they were trustworthy. Raven had told her that Aurora had flipped out when her children told her their friends knew, but apparently, she had calmed down and agreed to meet them.

On her way there, she ran into Jasper and Monty, who seemed as anxious as she was at the idea of meeting Bellamy's mom for the first time, especially considering that she was likely very angry at them and her own children.

"You have it?" Jasper asked, and Clarke nodded. "Good."

"Do you think she's going to slaughter us and that Octavia and Bell will have to cover up the murders?" Monty tried to joke, but failed as his voice sounded strained and nervous.

"I just hope she'll agree to let us see her daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how it must have felt like being trapped under the floor for sixteen years," Clarke whispered, even though nobody was around to eavesdrop.

"Yeah, me too," Jasper replied in the same tone. "She seems like a great girl."

"True," Monty agreed.

"Hopefully Tris doesn't feel just as lonely. Anya's mom works from home, right?" Jasper asked to no one in particular.

"Yes," Clarke answered with a nod, "she makes sure she's never alone. Sadly, Bellamy and his mom can't afford to do that with Octavia. Her mom has to take care of them on her own."

They finally reached the Blake's front door, and Jasper and Monty looked expectantly at Clarke, obviously too afraid to knock on the door themselves. Clarke rolled her eyes, though it brought a half smile to her face, and knocked on the door. It immediately swung open, to reveal a visibly nervous Bellamy, and he smiled a small, grateful smile at them.

"Thanks for coming. The others are already here, speaking with my mom."

He stepped aside to allow them to enter, and Clarke saw every single one of her friends – except for Wells of course – standing around the table, talking with a middle-aged brunette that looked a lot like Octavia. Clarke assumed it was Aurora. She looked at the three of them wearily, before getting up and offering her hand as a greeting.

They shook it one after the other, and introduced themselves. Jasper, Monty and Clarke joined the others around the table, and suddenly felt like they were going to be questioned by the head of security, Marcus Kane, himself.

Aurora turned to her children, and asked sarcastically, "Is everyone here, or did you tell the entire Ark?"

Octavia sighed. "Mom, please just hear them out."

Seeing as nobody was going to talk, Lincoln went first. "Like we said earlier, we'll never risk your daughter's safety. Your children trusted us with your secret, and we want to prove to you that they were right to do so."

Lexa searched through her pockets as she added, "That's why we came with this."

She presented part of her ration, and everyone put theirs on the table as well. Bellamy, Octavia and their mother stared at them in confusion.

Raven took on the explanation, "We figured that if everyone donated a small part of their rations every day, it would be easier for you. You wouldn't have to take three jobs to feed your family. And it wouldn't change anything for us, except for knowing we're helping you. Because that's what we want to do, help you. You can trust us."

Aurora stared at the food in shock, tears welling in her eyes. There was enough food for two people here, more than enough to give to Octavia. Maybe for once, her family would be satisfied with one meal.

"And we want to get to know your daughter, Ms. Blake," Lincoln added as he looked at Octavia, who smiled gratefully at him.

Aurora looked up, glancing skeptically at each of them. Clarke help her breath, because she felt like the older woman was gauging whether or not to trust them, and that whatever she decided now would be final.

Anya surprised everyone again when she told Aurora her own secret. "I have a sister too. And we're also hiding her. Thankfully, my family is doing fine so we don't have any trouble with rations or anything. But I wanted to let you know that I know what it feels like, and everyone here already swore to protect both our secrets."

That seemed to be the last thing Aurora needed to be convinced.

"Okay." Clarke let out a relived sigh. "Okay, I see you're all sincere and genuine. I'll give you a chance. But it's my daughter's life we're talking about here, plus your sister's and now yours as well. You'll be considered accomplices if she's ever found out. Are you really sure you want this?"

"Yes," Lincoln, Raven, Clarke and Lexa said, as the others nodded in agreement.

Octavia let out a single tear, which she quickly dried, and she gave her brother a side hug, beaming. "Thank you for doing this. I've only known you since yesterday, but you're part of my family now."

"Oh come on," Anya butted in. "Cut the sappy crap, and get to the part where we get drunk."

" _Anya_!" Lexa scowled her best friend.

Aurora let out an awkward laugh, and she stared at her son in confusion. "What's she talking about?"

"Uh," Bellamy cleared his throat. "We thought that maybe we could all hang out here tomorrow night. You know, so Octavia wouldn't be alone, and you could enjoy that time to hang out with your friends and something else than baby sit us."

Her mother narrowed her eyes and flashed her son a knowing smile. "Yes, I'm sure that's the reason." She paused before nodding. "Alright, minus the drunk part, it's fine by me."

Octavia clapped her hands enthusiastically before grabbing her mother into a tight hug. "Thanks mom, you're the best!"

After that, the atmosphere didn't seem as thick anymore, and they got more and more comfortable with Aurora. She was a great woman, and it was obvious she'd do anything to protect the loves of her life, her children.

 

//

 

Saturday went by pretty fast, and for once, Lexa stayed at home, not seeing anyone. Not because she wanted to be alone, but because she'd had a lot on her mind and wanted to focus on homework and writing. The brunette had spent a good part of Saturday morning out, however, because she had been planning to do something for quite some time already, and it had seemed like it was the perfect time to put her plan in motion.

It had felt weird, not seeing Clarke nor her friends all day – in her mind, Lexa always separated Clarke from her friends – because they had become accustomed to hanging out together all the time. Lexa had been really happy to see Abby again, and to get to know Clarke's father, Jake, who was a great man too. Clarke was lucky to have a family like them, and Lexa was grateful beyond words that they had welcomed her so easily into their happy family. She spent most of her time with them on Saturdays, and even on weekdays sometimes, but Saturday was reserved for her best friends only.

Lexa smiled as she was getting ready for the party. It was in less than an hour, and she had been looking forward to it since her game had ended the previous day. Their encounter with Aurora Blake had gone way better than anyone had expected, and she was excited at the idea of getting to know Octavia. She knew what loneliness felt like, and nobody should have to feel that. And even if Octavia had her mom and her brother, Lexa knew that she was yearning for more.

After she got ready, it was already time for her to get going. She was a bit proud to notice that, for once, she wasn't late. She even got to the Blake's a bit early, and she was surprised when Wells opened the door for her to enter.

"Wells? What are you doing here?" Lexa frowned as her eyes widened.

Raven heard the brunette's confused voice and went to the front door. "It's okay. He knows."

The brunette entered, looking puzzled, and closed the door behind her. She saw that Bellamy and Octavia were making food, while Clarke was standing beside them, not really helping but more making fun of how bad Bellamy was at cooking.

"If you want to help, be my guest," she heard the young boy say in exasperation. "Hey, Lexa." Bellamy turned around to greet her – choosing to ignore the blonde from now on – and Clarke immediately turned her head to make eye contact with her. She was grinning like an idiot, which was one of Lexa's favorite sights.

"Hey," Lexa greeted back, smiling at everyone – but mostly at Clarke, if she was being honest.

She snapped out of her reverie before it made everyone uncomfortable, though she was sure Raven's smirk was directed at them, and instead focused on Wells again. "What convinced Bell to tell you?"

"Not what, who," Raven said with a smug look on her face.

"Uh, you weren't alone, remember?" Clarke blinked.

Bellamy turned his face briefly to look at them. "My mom still doesn't know that he knows. You know, being the Chancellor's son and everything. But I trust you," he added, looking directly at Wells, who only smiled with a slight nod.

"Aw look at this developing bromance, it's so cute," Octavia commented with laughed, and everyone soon followed, Bellamy shoving his sister lightly in the arm.

"Monty should be here with Jasper by now," Raven said suddenly, frowning and worried that their friends had gotten caught.

"You want me to look for them?" Lexa offered, worried as well now. She didn't know them very well, but they were always nice to her. Plus, she knew too well the rules on the Ark. Brewing your own alcohol was considered illegal.

"If they're not here in an hour, we'll look for them together," Clarke decided.

"Yeah, they're just late, I'm sure they're fine," Bellamy added reassuringly.

Not even ten minutes later, someone knocked on the door, and Clarke went to answer. Much to everyone's relief, Jasper and Monty entered, beaming proudly.

"Hey," Jasper greeted enthusiastically. "Where is everyone else?"

"Late, just as you two are," Raven replied playfully.

"That's because _someone_ was being freaking paranoid that a guard was following us at every corner," Monty explained, throwing a glare in Jasper's direction.

They made sure everything was ready, and even put some music on, though they kept it low because of the close proximity of the neighbors. Soon, everyone had arrived. They were all locked up in the small apartment, but they were used to the proximity, so they didn't mind. The party could finally begin. First, they mostly ate and chatted about everything and anything, but then Jasper claimed that it was time for a drinking game. And of course, everyone's choice landed on the inescapable 'Truth, Dare or Drink', because it would give everyone the chance to know each other even better.

"Okay, who's starting?" Lincoln asked.

"I am," Octavia instantly replied. "I'm the youngest one here."

"Fair enough," Anya agreed.

They all sat in a circle, filling their drinks with some alcohol mixed with some non-alcoholic drink before starting the game.

"Um," Octavia looked at each of them one by one, wondering who was going to be her victim. "Lincoln, truth, dare or drink?"

"Truth," he replied. "I've got nothing to hide."

"Okay, let me think of a question to ask." Octavia remembered that he'd been talking about the perks of living on his own the other day, and she had become curious as to why he wasn't leaving with his parents since she knew they were still alive. "I know." She made eye contact with him. "Why aren't you living with your parents?"

"Because we don't really get along. They never truly gave a crap about me, and as soon as I turned eighteen, I applied for my own place," he simply stated, not seeming phased at all by the question.

"You really don't get along with them?" Octavia didn't want to pry, but she was genuinely curious. Her own family was her rock, her everything, and without them, she'd be lost.

Lincoln took a sip of water, not touching the alcoholic drink since he had answered the question, and smiled as he put the glass down. "I believe that's another question for another turn. Now it's my turn." He turned to his left. "Anya. Truth, dare or drink?"

"Um, truth I guess," she replied hesitantly, not knowing where to stand.

"Crap. I suck at this," Lincoln grunted as Anya smiled, happy to have made the right choice. "Okay, who's the most annoying person you know?"

Anya snorted. "Lame, I already told you and Lex about him. John fucking Murphy."

"Why?" Raven asked, because she knew the guy, and as annoying as he was, she thought he was pretty funny.

"Ahah, the question was only about who, not why."

"That's not fair," Raven whined.

"My turn." Anya focused on every single one of them to find the next victim. They were all surprised when she said, "Clarke." She paused dramatically before asking the question, "Truth, dare or drink?"

Not really trusting Anya, the blonde chose the easy way out. "Drink."

Anya let out a disappointed sound as Clarke drank from her glass. After she had put it down, she briefly thought of who she could ask a question, before making the obvious choice. "Lexa."

"Oh boy." Lexa chuckled as had no idea what to pick.

"Truth, dare or drink?"

"Dare," Lexa replied after giving it some thought. Everyone cheered, because she was the first one to pick that option.

Clarke seemed to think for a minute. "I dare you to-"

"Kiss Anya," Raven cut her off, much to everyone's surprise.

Clarke and Lexa turned to look at her and said in unison, "What?"

"I dare you to kiss Anya," Raven simply stated, obviously enjoying the look on their friends' faces.

"You can't hijack my dare!" Clarke exclaimed in a huff.

"I just did," Raven raised a challenging eyebrow, and Anya chuckled, enjoying where the girl was going with this. She simply wanted Clarke to admit that she had feelings for Lexa, which everyone already noticed except for the two people it concerned.

Lexa looked at Anya in desperation. "I'm not kissing you."

"A dare is a dare," Anya replied with a knowing smirk.

"Wait a minute," Clarke tried, "It was my turn in the first place, and I didn't dare her to do that." She did _not_ want to see the brunette kissing someone, especially Anya.

"She has a point," Wells stepped in.

Raven narrowed her eyes at him. "Whose side are you on?" She sighed, and finally gave up. "Okay, fine, do your own dare. But it's gonna be boring as fuck anyway."

Clarke chose to ignore the girl, like she did most of the time anyway, and instead announced, in an already drunk voice – though Clarke was never really drunk, "I dare you to put some lipstick on someone without using your hands."

Lexa stared at her, puzzled. "You know make up is rare on the Ark, right?"

"Yeah, but it will be fun so…" Clarke smiled.

"Okay," Lexa agreed, she'd rather do that than kiss Anya. "And who is it gonna be?"

"Me," Clarke said, her smile now turning into a smirk.

The blonde searched through the bag she had brought, and finally found her lipstick. She didn't use much of that, since it was indeed rare on the Ark, but tonight it seemed like she was gonna have some on. The end result would probably be catastrophic, but she didn't care in the slightest. She handed it to Lexa, who opened it and put the tube in her mouth. She approached Clarke and crouched down in front of her. The brunette remained focused on the blonde's lips the whole time, and she held her breath. She just wanted one thing, to let go of that stupid lipstick and instead crash her own lips on Clarke's. She didn't, of course. Instead, when she put it down, she stepped away from Clarke to look at the end result in a proud smile. She hadn't noticed Clarke had remained focused on her own lips the whole time, but everyone else had.

"It's not that bad," Jasper commented, tilting his head to the side.

"It's actually really well done," Octavia added, stunned to see that it wasn't smudged everywhere like she thought it would be. "Did you secretly practice before this?"

"Nope," Lexa replied, still smiling. "I'm just really good with my mouth."

She laughed as Clarke blushed a bright red, getting up quickly to take a look at herself in the mirror, but mostly because she was ashamed of her reaction to the brunette's words. Indeed, it wasn't so bad after all. She rearranged it just a little bit, and decided to keep the lipstick on. After all, she couldn't let it go to waste, right?

After that, they did a couple of rounds more, until it was Raven's turn for the third time. This time, she picked Lexa, and the brunette chose truth.

"Who's your secret crush?" Raven asked, but then realized that the brunette might escape with a lie, so she found another question instead. "No, wait! What's your type?"

Lexa gulped slightly, the alcohol making her feel dizzy and light headed. She was sitting next to Clarke, and the blonde had noticed she sought even more contact when the brunette was tipsy. She liked tipsy Lexa. But then again, she liked all versions of Lexa.

The brunette made eye contact with the blonde. They had grown significantly closer since the game had begun, and now their arms and legs were grazing against each other. She shivered a little and focused on Raven again. "I don't have a type."

Anya huffed. "Uh, yes you _do_."

Raven smirked. "You know what happens to liars, right?"

Lexa sighed and dropped her gaze to the floor. "Fine. Blondes."

Clarke blushed for what felt like the millionth time tonight, and she got up to grab some water. Raven smirked, obviously proud of herself. "I'll let you off the hook for now. But you know what happens if you lie again."

Lexa simply rolled her eyes, and she got up as well to follow the blonde to the small kitchen, which was barely one foot away since the apartment was so small. As she did, she almost tripped on her own feet, and she realized that she needed to maybe slow down on the alcohol for a bit. She put her hand on Clarke's back, careful not to place it too high, but not too low either. The blonde tilted her face slightly to look at her. "You okay?" Lexa asked.

"Yeah." Clarke nodded. "You?"

Lexa snorted. "Drunk. But apart from that, perfectly fine."

She put her arm around the blonde's waist, and put her head on the blonde's shoulder, happy to see that the blonde didn't seem to mind. She was dying to kiss her neck, but she knew that their friends were way too close. Plus, she was really drunk, and she didn't want the blonde to think she would kiss her just because she was drunk. If she had any chance with Clarke, the brunette wanted their first kiss to be meaningful, and a drunken kiss at a party obviously wasn't.

Clarke laughed a little, because yeah, Lexa was definitely cute when she was drunk. She finished her glass of water, and turned around, making Lexa let go of her. Clarke took the brunette's hand in her own, thinking that she would need some help to get back to the circle. They, somehow, managed to sit with everyone again without Lexa tripping on anything, and once they sat, the brunette didn't let go of the blonde's hand, much to Clarke's delight.

Clarke noticed Lincoln and Octavia in the corner of the room, seeming to be in deep conversation, and she smiled. She had noticed how Octavia looked at him, and Lincoln seemed to look at her the same way. Bellamy was too busy with his own girlfriend to notice. That left Anya, Jasper, Monty, Wells, Lexa and herself to play another game. Clarke removed the alcoholic drink from Lexa, deciding that as much as she loved drunk Lexa, she'd had enough to drink for the night.

At some point quite late in the night – or rather really early in the morning – Aurora Blake came back to find everyone asleep. She smiled, as she saw that her daughter had a big smile on her sleepy face, and she went to bed herself. She smirked as she noticed a bottle of alcohol they had obviously forgotten to hide. It would be a rough morning for them when she would wake them up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments mean the world, so please tell me what you thought about this


	11. Chapter 11

_Pank! Pank! Pank!_

“Ugh, what now?” Raven blurted out as she was putting her hands to cover her ears, protecting them from that insufferable noise.

“Time to get up, children! As much as I loved having you here, your parents probably want you to go home,” Aurora exclaimed as she was tapping against a metal chair to wake them up.

Clarke recognized the voice as Aurora’s, and she quickly opened her eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden light. She smirked as she saw Lexa’s head on her stomach, the brunette seeming to have a hard time waking up as she heard her grunt.

“What time is it?” Anya whined as she got up from the cushions sprayed on the floor.

“Almost noon,” Aurora replied. “I also slept in and didn’t realize it was that late. Your parents are probably wondering when you will be coming home.”

“Ugh, my father wanted me home before eleven…” Wells said in a sleepy voice as he searched for his bag.

Aurora did a double take when she saw him, and looked for her son, still laid on the couch. She wasn’t sure what the Chancellor’s son was doing here, but she trusted her son not to be dumb enough to tell him about Octavia. They must have come up with an excuse as to why her daughter wasn’t in high school with them. Bellamy wouldn’t tell _him_ of all people that he had a sister, right?

She chose not to say anything, so as to not raise suspicion that she was very uncomfortable at the idea of having the Chancellor’s son in her home. One privileged was enough already, even though Clarke seemed like a really nice girl.

Everyone finally got up, though some people found it more difficult than others.

Anya flashed her best friend a teasing smile. “You look like crap.”

Lexa wanted to flip her the bird, but she didn’t want to do that in front of Aurora so she didn’t say anything, simply grunting instead because her friend was probably right. Clarke chuckled at the sight of the brunette struggling to keep her eyes open.

Raven and Lincoln started to tidy up a little the mess they had made, and Jasper, Monty and Wells soon joined in. The others just gathered everyone’s stuff, and soon, they were leaving, after thanking the Blakes for the party. Aurora didn’t seem mad, quite the opposite actually, so they figured that was a good sign. She will probably be happy that they would spend time with her daughter now, and Octavia had seemed thrilled about the party. After all, it was her first party ever.

When Clarke and Lexa turned around a corner, they realized it was already time to part ways. Instead, Clarke decided to follow Lexa, much to the brunette’ surprise. “I want to make sure you get home safe,” Clarke felt the need to explain as Lexa flashed her a questioning look.

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “What could possibly happen to me while I get home?”

Clarke laughed and flashed her a teasing smile. “You might not realize it, but you look like you’re about to pass out.”

Lexa had an embarrassed look and smiled apologetically at her. “I might have had too much to drink last night.” After a moment of silence, she felt the urge to add, “I don’t drink that much usually. Hell, I don’t drink _at all_. But I guess I just needed to ease the pressure a little bit.”

“I feel you.” Clarke flashed her a reassuring smile, making it clear that she didn’t need to apologize at all. It’s not like she had been sick or anything really. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Not really,” Lexa replied quietly.

She seemed like she didn’t really want to talk about it, so Clarke only said in a soft voice, “If you ever feel like talking about it, I’m here.”

“I know,” Lexa replied with a sweet smile. She hadn’t forgotten about her behavior of the previous night, nor had she forgotten that the blonde had seemed to enjoy the close proximity. She allowed herself to feel hopeful for a minute, before the reality of the battle her heart was fighting would come crashing down on her again. Maybe the blonde _was_ interested, maybe Lexa had a chance at a relationship. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost for her. But right now, she didn’t want to talk about that, nor did she want to act on it. She would see how things would play out between she and Clarke during the week.

When they arrived to Lexa’s front door, the brunette remembered that she had wanted to give Clarke something. Something she had been looking for for quite some time now.

“I almost forgot, but I sort of found something yesterday, and I wanted to share it with you,” she said. Clarke flashed her a questioning glance, waiting for the brunette to continue. Lexa glanced around them to see if anybody was watching. “Not here,” she finally added. “Come inside for a minute.”

Clarke followed without question, though she had plenty of that right now. Lexa closed the door behind her, and she set her bag on the small table, searching through it when she finally put a cardboard box out. Lexa took two objects that Clarke had only ever seen on TV. “Are these… are these cellphones?”

Lexa looked proudly at her. “Yep.”

Clarke excitedly grabbed one of the phones and scrutinized it, fascinated. “How did you even get that?”

“Oh, trust me, you don’t wanna know.”

“Now I’m dying to know,” Clarke flashed her a teasing smile. Lexa only smiled, loving the way the blonde’s face lit up as she watched the mysterious device. “Is it working?”

“Yes, and even better, since there are two of them, this one is for you, and the other one is for me.”

Clarke raised her gaze, staring into shining green eyes. “Does that mean we will be able to communicate even when you’re not with me?” Lexa nodded, grinning. “Amazing!”

“You just need to keep quiet about it.” If the security found out about these cellphones, they would request them to ‘put them to better use’. Lexa didn’t want that, she wanted to keep them for Clarke and her. “The messages will be sent through the grid, but the security shouldn’t be able to detect us, I made sure of that.”

“Shouldn’t?” Clarke frowned.

The brunette squeezed her arm reassuringly. “Don’t worry, they _won’t_ detect us.”

Clarke focused on the phone in her hand again. She couldn’t believe that the brunette had found this, and even better, had wanted to share it with her. “Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to give you in exchange.”

“Are you kidding?” Lexa’s eyes widened. “I didn’t do that to get something else in return. I did that because _I’m_ the one that owes you, for everything you’ve done for me since I met you.”

Clarke opened her mouth, but closed it since she found herself at a loss for words. Gifts were rare on the Ark, precious even. When someone would give you something, they would always expect something else in return. The blonde opened her mouth again, getting lost in mesmerizing green eyes. The eyes that had the color of a forest, at least, the way Clarke pictured it since she had only saw pictures or documentaries through a screen, never through her own eyes. But she felt as if she did right now, as if a sea of trees was standing right in front of her. “You don’t owe me anything, Lexa. I’m grateful to have you in my life.”

_This is it,_ they both thought simultaneously. _This is the right time to kiss her._

However, neither of them moved. They kept getting lost in the other’s gaze, but neither of them did what they both _craved_ to do since they had first laid eyes on each other. Lexa felt her heart beating faster than ever, and with her proximity with the blonde, it was a miracle that Clarke didn’t hear it. What she didn’t know was that Clarke’s heart was beating just as fast, the blonde longing to close the distance between them, but fearing that it might not end well.

After a few seconds, Lexa cleared her throat in an awkward attempt to regain composure and took a few steps away from the blonde. "So yeah, I just wanted to give you that." She didn't dare to look into the blonde's eyes, afraid that she might see disgust for what they both knew had almost happened. Instead though, she would have found disappointment that it had, in fact, not happened. "You should probably go now. Your parents must be getting worried."

Clarke kept her gaze focused on Lexa, waiting for the brunette to finally look up. When she didn't, she sighed and said, almost in a whisper, "Yeah, I should." _Doesn't mean I want to,_ she thought. "Thank you for that, really. I'll see you on Monday," she added as she walked to the door, opened it, and glanced one last time at Lexa who was still fascinated by the floor and only replied with a shaky 'See you', before she closed it behind her and went home.

Clarke just assumed that Lexa was embarrassed because she wasn't into her. And she couldn't be more wrong.

 

//

 

On Sunday evening, after almost a whole afternoon of silence between the two of them – spent with Anya and Lincoln on Lexa’s part, as per usual - Lexa decided to reach out to Clarke. After all, she hadn't gotten into all that trouble to find them phones to not use them.

**Lexa – Hey**

She didn't know what to write – and that was a first to her considering that she always had something to write – so she just kept it simple. Maybe too simple she thought after a few minutes without a reply, but she smiled as she felt the device going off on her desk.

**Clarke – Hey**

_Wow, she's not going to make it easy to start a conversation._

Lexa didn't let that deter her though, and she sent another message.

**Lexa – How was your Sunday?**

The reply came almost instantly, and she figured the blonde wasn't doing anything.

**Clarke – Boring... Yours?**

**Lexa – Well, Anya was still trash from last night, and Lincoln was mostly gushing about Octavia**

**Clarke – Awww he's cute. They'd make a cute couple. Admit it though, you were in a worse state than Anya**

The brunette smirked. It was true that the pounding in her head had only stopped a couple of hours ago, after she took a short nap before getting to her homework.

**Lexa – Okay, that might be a bit true. But I think I needed that honestly**

**Clarke – U sure u don't want to talk about it?**

Lexa recalled that she had already made a comment like that before the party, and that Clarke hadn't pushed to know what was bothering her, probably sensing that she didn't want to talk about it. The blonde seemed to always know what she needed.

**Lexa – It's just that it's been almost three since my parents died, and it's been a little hard lately. But u being here for me really helped :)  
**

That was partly true, that had been gnawing at her lately. She would always distract herself whenever a thought about them was too painful, or too difficult to handle for her. But what was mostly bothering her was the fact that she had promised herself not to get romantically attached to someone a long time ago, and she had already broken that promise. There was no distracting herself from that. She wasn’t completely dumb – though Anya might argue on that. She was well aware that she was irrevocably starting to fall for the blonde.

The sound of her new favorite electronic device vibrating on her desk pulled her away from her thoughts, and she immediately glanced at it.

**Clarke – I didn’t do anything, really. And I get that it must be hard on u. Again, if u ever want to talk, I’m here for u, k?**

Lexa smiled at her phone.

**Lexa – I know, thank you. Goodnight, Clarke.**

**Clarke – Goodnight, Lex** **:)**

Though she didn’t want to go to bed just yet, she didn’t really feel like texting Clarke either. She had just wanted to make sure things weren’t awkward between the two of them after their almost kiss, or rather, as Lexa thought, her almost kissing Clarke and ruining their friendship.

She returned to her writing, and didn’t realize it was nearing two am and that she had to get up for school. She finally closed her notebook, slipped into her PJ’s and under the blankets of her bed. She briefly wondered if Anya was in better shape now, and if Lincoln was thinking about Octavia, but soon, thoughts of the blonde took over her mind, and she drifted off to sleep, a small, content smile on her face.

 

// 

 

"Hey," the blonde greeted her the next Tuesday.

"Hi," Lexa replied as she sat at her usual seat. She saw Raven walking beside her table in the corner of her eye, but she didn't look directly at her.

"So?" The girl asked.

Lexa raised a questioning eyebrow, still not looking at her. "Hello to you too, Raven."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the girl shrugged the sarcastic comment off. "So?" She reiterated.

"So what?" Lexa finally looked up, huffing in exasperation because she had no idea what the brunette was talking about.

"So, did she ask you out?" Raven exclaimed, causing the blonde to look up all of a sudden.

Lexa's eyes widened in surprise. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Monroe," Raven clarified a bit. "She wanted to ask you out on a date after practice yesterday. Guess she didn't and I just spoiled the surprise." She felt a bit guilty about Monroe, but oh boy she was enjoying the look on Clarke's face from the corner of her eye. She decided that it wasn't time to be subtle right now, it was time to make those idiots understand that they needed to take their relationship to the next level. There was only so much eye-fucking that she could handle.

As Lexa remained dumbfounded, Clarke finally spoke up, "Did she?"

"Um, no. I had no idea she was even into me," Lexa answered, confusion evident in her voice.

Clarke rolled her eyes. "It was really obvious."

"Really?" Lexa asked, now looking directly at her.

Raven nodded her head, smirking. If that didn't work, she didn't know what would.

_Sorry Monroe,_ she internally apologized.

“Are _you_ into her?” She wasn’t going to drop this until Lexa finally figured out that Clarke was jealous, because it was written all over her face right now.

Clarke tried to pretend to focus on her sketchbook again, though she was holding her breath, waiting for the brunette to answer as if she hadn’t already assured her the other day that she wasn’t into Monroe at all. She couldn’t prevent a relieved sigh from escaping her lips as Lexa shook her head.

Just as she did, the bell rang, and Pike came into the room, immediately starting his class. Raven sat back on her seat. Clarke kept glancing to Lexa throughout the entire class, but she didn’t think the brunette had noticed until she gave her a note.

**What’s wrong?**

The blonde started at it for a couple of seconds, until she looked up at Lexa who was staring at her, and mouthed ‘Nothing’. The brunette discreetly wrote something else on her notebook and raised it a little so that the blonde could read.

**I can see something’s bothering you. You keep staring at me.**

Upon reading the note, Clarke blushed a little. She briefly thought about how elegant Lexa’s handwriting was – even though she had seen it countless times before – before focusing instead on a way to get out of this one without telling the truth, but without completely lying either. Probably the dumbest idea she had ever had. She scrambled a note at the bottom of her notebook and discreetly showed it to Lexa.

**Just thinking about our English project and how we haven’t really focused on that lately.**

It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Lexa didn’t seem convinced as she read her sloppy handwriting, but she turned her attention back to the teacher. Clarke thought she was off the hook, but as soon as the bell rang, Lexa turned to her, not gathering her stuff as Raven left the room, and asked, “Okay, tell me what’s really going on now.”

Clarke lowered her gaze. “I told you, I’m just stressed out about our project.” Lexa flashed her a pointed look that said that she didn’t believe her at all, but Clarke added anyway, “You wanna work on it tonight?”

The brunette shook her head. “I can’t tonight. I have plans with Lincoln. Tomorrow maybe?” She offered.

It was the blonde’s turn to shake her head. “I have plans with Raven, Bell and Wells. We’re going to Bell’s place so we can hang out with O, too,” she added in a whisper.

“Well then,’ Lexa decided. “I guess it will be easier to just make plans for the weekend, don’t you think?”

Clarke agreed, too happy to be off the hook – for now. The truth was that she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Lexa and Monroe. Lexa had already made it clear twice that she wasn’t interested, but what if next time, Lexa agreed to go out on a date with someone? How well would Clarke handle that?

Not well at all from the looks of it, so as they were making their way to second period, and that Clarke’s mind was still focused on her irrational jealousy, she decided to do something about it. Something that she was not aware that Lexa wouldn’t like at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when will these two idiots finally open their eyes?  
> leave comments and kudos pls! they always make my day :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry the updating schedule is such a mess  
> I felt like I owed you an update today of all days though, so here you go  
> if anyone wants to talk or needs a hug (or both), you can always send me a message on tumblr @commanderofcandles or even on twitter @schtroumpfie_31  
> We'll forever miss our little Heda, but she lives on with all of us.  
> hope you enjoy!

** Chapter 12: **

"Hey hey, Lexa! Calm down, it's okay. I'm here." Clarke feared that she would freak the brunette out even more than she already was, so she just gently put her hands on her shoulders, tracing small patterns with her thumbs that she hoped were somewhat comforting to the brunette.

Clarke had decided that it had been too long since Lexa had last slept over at her apartment, so she had invited her on Wednesday night. After all, if she was only going to be friends with Lexa, she had to start somewhere. Everything was going great, they had lots of fun with her mom and dad, Lexa seemed thrilled to be here, and they had gone to sleep. And suddenly, in the middle of the night, Lexa had started to have a panic attack. Clarke had seen her having nightmares before, but she had no idea what to do in case of a panic attack, so she did the one thing she hoped would be efficient, talk the brunette through it with the most soothing voice she could use. It didn't seem to work though, the brunette was still panting heavily and soon, she was struggling to breathe. Clarke started to get up, only to be stopped dead in her tracks when the brunette firmly grasped her arm, eyes wide and a terrified look on her face. That sight broke Clarke's heart, but she needed her mom's help. She tried to get out of Lexa's grip by putting a gentle hand on the brunette's forearm and stroking it lightly. "Lexa, you need help. My mom is just in the other room. I'll be back in no time." Seeing that Lexa wasn't ready to let go, Clarke opened her mouth to call for her mother, only to be interrupted by Lexa's incoherent thoughts.

"Just _shut up_! Why won't you shut up? I just want to sleep! Please let me go to sleep!"

"Hey, hey, sh I'm here," Clarke tried to soothe her, frowning as she wondered who Lexa was actually talking to.

"I just want some sleep," the brunette started sobbing, and Clarke pulled her in a tight hug. She felt a wetness in her neck as Lexa buried her face in it. Lexa seemed to be able to breathe properly again, though she was still panting and now sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't sleep when she talks to me."

Clarke didn't ask who was talking to her in her head, because she knew the brunette needed to forget whoever 'she' was for now. "I won't sleep until _you_ 're asleep."

Lexa let go of Clarke, but Clarke still clung onto her tightly. "I'm s-s-sorry," she said through difficult breaths.

"Sh, sh, it's okay. Just lay down with me," Clarke said as she made Lexa lay down on the bed next to her. Lexa sobbed again, and Clarke heard her breathing become more and more troubled again. She put an arm around her waist and made Lexa lay her head on her chest. "Just focus on my breathing, okay?" Lexa tried to do as she was told, but she was still struggling. Clarke gently stroked her hair and whispered, "Breathe with me, Lexa."

Soon, Lexa's sobs seemed to die down a bit, and her breathing evened. Clarke felt her breathe in every time her own chest swelled with every breath she took. After a couple of hours, Lexa's breathing finally returned to normal, perfectly in sync with Clarke's, and soon, she fell asleep in Clarke's arms.

Clarke didn't dare to move, and she didn't want to anyway. If Lexa needed to be held and told everything was going to be okay, then that was exactly what Clarke would do. And just then, she realized just how strong her feelings for the brunette were, and she realized she was screwed. She quickly pushed the thought aside though, and thought back to the reason Lexa had a panic attack in the first place. She had obviously heard someone talk, a girl or a woman maybe, and Clarke briefly wondered if that woman was Lexa's mother. She told herself that if Lexa ever needed to talk about it, she would tell her, so Clarke brushed the thought off, and after making sure the brunette slept soundly, she let herself drift into slumber as well.

 

//

 

The next morning, when Lexa opened her eyes and blinked to adjust to the light coming in through the window, she briefly wondered where she was, before recognizing the blonde's drawings on the wall. She thought that she was very comfortable, so she closed her eyes again, thinking that the alarm clock hadn't gone off anyway so she still had time before school.

She quickly opened them again though, when she realized her head was moving up and down, and that she felt a light breath on her hair. Where the hell was she _exactly_?

She finally realized that there was a hand on her hair, and an arm wrapped around her waist. She looked up carefully, and saw Clarke sleeping soundly, a small smile lingering at the corner of her lips. She quietly laughed when she heard the blonde snore a little. She smiled at how adorable the sleeping blonde was, and she stared at her for a few minutes, until she decided that it was creepy, so she closed her eyes again, not even trying to get out of the blonde's arms because it felt too good. She remembered why she was in Clarke's arms in the first place, and she cringed as she thought back to the cause of her panic attack. She hadn't had one in a month, and had foolishly hoped it would stay that way. Stupid really, considering she'd had so many of them during the past couple of years.

Not even ten minutes later, the alarm finally went off, and Lexa felt the blonde stir underneath her. She sat up on the bed - albeit begrudgingly because she instantly missed the touch – and she smiled sweetly at the blonde. "Good morning."

"Hey," Clarke smiled, yawning a second later, causing Lexa to frown.

"I kept you from sleeping, didn't I?" She knew Clarke usually went to bed early, and she didn't mind during their sleepovers, but right now, Clarke must be missing her seven hours of sleep.

"What?" The blonde sat up next to her. "No, you didn't." Lexa flashed her a pointed look and Clarke felt the need to add," Okay, maybe you did a little. _But_ , it wasn't your fault."

"I'm sorry," Lexa said anyway, looking down.

"Stop," Clarke exclaimed.

"Stop what?" Lexa frowned, looking up at her.

"Stop saying sorry all the time. Like I said, it's not your fault."

Lexa still felt like it was, but she didn't argue, knowing it would just annoy the blonde.

They both quickly got ready for school, and after they said goodbye to Jake – Abby already being at the clinic – they made their way to school. They arrived just in time for first period, and the class soon started.

After class ended, Raven said goodbye before going to her own class, and Lexa turned to Anya. “Hey, you weren’t there Tuesday and yesterday.” It sounded more like a question than a statement. Anya turned to look at her, and Lexa’s eyes widened as she took in the somber expression her best friend harbored. “Are you okay? I tried to drop by yesterday but your mom told me you were busy.”

Anya looked past Lexa, and Lexa turned around to see that Clarke was waiting for her. The blonde quickly understood that Anya wasn’t going to talk if she was here, so she excused herself, “I’ll see you at lunch, Anya.” She quickly made eye contact with Lexa, and when the brunette silently thanked her with her eyes, she turned around and left the classroom.

Lexa started to gather her things as she asked, “What’s wrong?”

Anya was gathering her things a well, because Pike was glaring at them from the front of the classroom. “My little sister is sick.”

“Tris?” Lexa stopped dead in her tracks to stare at her best friend, who was still focused on the things on her desk.

Anya only nodded, before she took a deep breath and continued, “I was watching over her, that’s why I didn’t come to school. She needs medicine, Lexa, or she won’t make it, but some douche at the clinic said they’re running out of antibiotics and that I didn’t really look sick.” Anya sighed, of course, she wouldn’t, since her sister was the one being sick; but she couldn’t possibly admit that to the doctors and nurses.

Lexa was horrified. Life was hard on the Ark, everyone knew that, but that was unnecessary harsh. _Then again, a lot of things are_ , Lexa thought bitterly. She immediately thought of asking Abby, but she felt like it was unfair to put the woman in a dangerous position where she could lose both her job, and even more her _life_. Still, it was her best friend’s little sister’s life at stake here, and Lexa had no idea what to do.

 

//

 

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

Lexa had forgotten how much she hated that sound. It made her skin crawl. Instead she focused on the people here.

Ruffling sounds everywhere. Whining children, worried parents, but mostly, injured workers. That’s what Lexa saw when she arrived at the clinic later that day. She noticed that one man, walking past her, visibly very sick. He didn’t seem to have been treated at all, and he was just going home, without knowing if he would make it without meds. Lexa swallowed thickly and averted her eyes. She had come for a specific reason, and she should focus on that.

The brunette knew that Abby was always around, so she just searched every empty room, until a voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Came the loud voice.

Lexa turned around to face a young man. “I’m just looking for Dr. Griffin.”

The young man narrowed his eyes. “Why? Are you sick?”

Lexa showed him her left forearm. “I just cut open my arm. I think I need stiches.”

The man looked at her as if she was crazy. She couldn’t blame him though, that’s probably what she looked like right now. “And you’re just walking around like nothing’s wrong? Like you’re not bleeding at all?”

The brunette put a close by towel on her arm. “It’s okay, I have this.”

The young man sighed and took a step toward her. “Come with me. I’ll take care of that. You’re bleeding everywhere and I’m the one that has to clean up this mess.”

Lexa’s eyes widened slightly. “I, uh, I’d rather have Dr. Griffin do it.”

The young man seemed to lose patience and he huffed. “Suit yourself. But you’ll have to wait in the waiting room, and keep applying pressure on the wound. I have other patients that actually _want_ my help.” He turned around at the last minute. “Oh, and don’t die from that bleeding, I’d be held responsible.”

And just like that, he stormed off. A half smile tugged at Lexa’s lips, and she resumed her search. She needed to find those antibiotics. She searched every single drawer, every single cupboard, but didn’t find any, until she opened another and –

_Bingo!_

Stacks of antibiotics. Lexa took enough of them, to make sure Anya’s sister would have what she needed to get better, but still not too much because there were still people out there that needed that too. And if that were the only antibiotics on this part of the Ark, then they were definitely running low.

“Hey, who the hell are you and what are you doing here?”

What, _again_?

Lexa turned around to see Abby standing in the doorway. She had her hands on her hips and an angry expression on her face, but she immediately softened when she recognized the brunette.

“Lexa?” Lexa quickly tried to hide what she just stole, too late. “Are you _stealing_ medicine?” Then, Abby noticed the deep cut on her arm and she instantly reached out. “God, how did you do that?”

_Myself,_ Lexa thought, but kept quiet. She stared at Abby, at a loss of words. She hadn’t wanted Abby to get involved, but now there was no way she would get out of this without an explanation.

Abby tugged her uninjured arm. “Sit,” she ordered as she nodded toward a table. Lexa did as she was told, and Abby retrieved some of the things she needed to sew the brunette up. “I can’t give you anesthesia, so it’s going to hurt a little.”

Lexa nodded that it wasn’t a problem, but she let out a gasp as Abby stuck the needle in her arm. She quickly closed her mouth and gritted her teeth, not letting any more sign of pain show through her face.

“What are the meds for? Or rather who?” Abby briefly threw her a pointed look before focusing on her left arm again.

Lexa cleared her throat before she spoke, her voice raspy from the pain in her arm. “Anya’s sister, Tris, is sick. Doctors said they couldn’t give any meds, but Anya is worried she won’t make it without them.”

Abby stopped again to look at her. ”Anya has a sister?” She shook her head. “And why didn’t you come to me?”

“What?” Lexa raised her eyebrows in surprise. “No ‘we’re running low and we need those’ or no ‘are you crazy’?” She snorted a little. “And no ‘it’s illegal to have siblings on the Ark’?”

“Oh but I already know that you’re crazy, Lexa,” Abby smirked. “And as for Anya having a sister, it’s not her fault, is it? You told me, so that means you know I won’t turn her in. I just want to know why you didn’t feel like you could come to me for help.”

Lexa lowered her gaze, following Abby’s every single move as she stitched her up. “I thought about it, but I didn’t want you to lose your job, or even your life because you wanted to help.”

Abby had taken care of her arm and smiled sweetly at her before slapping her on her right arm.

“ _Ouch!_ ”

Abby was now scowling. “And you didn’t think it was _my_ call? _You_ could have been locked up if anyone else had found you here stealing meds.”

“I guess I’m lucky that you were the one to find me then, uh?” Lexa had a cocky grin that soon vanished as Abby sent her death glares, obviously not mentioning the young man that had almost caught her earlier.

“Give them to me,” she demanded as she reached a hand.

“You’re gonna put them back?” Lexa asked as she gave the meds to her.

“No, silly. I’m gonna go see that girl and make sure _those_ are what she needs.” She paused, making eye contact with Lexa. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets what she needs.”

Lexa got up from the table, smiling. “Then I’ll show you where they live. Anya and her parents probably won’t let you in if I’m not there.”

Abby frowned. “I still have some patients to take care of. Meet me in the mess hall in two hours, and we’ll go from there.”

Lexa nodded and left reluctantly. At least now, she was sure Tris would be okay.

 

//

 

“Dr. Griffin?” Anya let out a surprised huff as she opened the door to reveal her best friend and Clarke’s mom on her door step.

Soon, her parents had joined her. “What can we do for you, doctor?” Her father asked. He seemed mostly afraid that they had done something wrong. It wasn’t every day that a member of the Council knocked at your door after all, and with the secret they were hiding, no wonder he was feeling nervous.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Abby said. “But I think I have something that might help you,” she added in a whisper. “Can I come in?”

Lexa gulped as three gaze fell upon her. Anya and her parents were looking at her, as if silently asking if they should trust the older woman. “It’s okay. She won’t say a word, you can trust her.”

Anya looked at her parents before opening the door wider, allowing the two to come inside. Abby carefully came in before Lexa went straight to Tris’s room as Anya went back to her sister’s side. Her parents just looked curiously at the doctor as she put some antibiotics out of her bag.

“Those are the strongest meds I could find. I know that your little girl is sick and that she needs those. If you take me to her, I can help her.”

Anya’s mom scrutinized her before she motioned to her younger daughter’s bedroom that she shared with Anya. “She’s asleep. But you can come in and wake her up.”

Abby tentatively entered the bedroom, and smiled when she saw the painted walls. That reminded her of Clarke’s room, full of drawings and doodles on the wall. She wondered where they had found those supplies, but she was sure Anya or her friends would do anything for Tris. Her smile soon faded though when she saw the shape of a fragile little girl shivering on her bed. She was feverish, that much was obvious.

“May I?” Abby asked Anya, motioning towards the bed. When Anya nodded her head that she could, Abby sat and examined the little girl. She was barely eleven or twelve years old, and it broke her heart knowing that children just like her were refused treatment every day on the Ark.

Lexa asked after a while, “Are the meds I took enough?”

Abby chuckled, while Anya’s widened at her best friend’s words. “You took the weakest ones. I made sure to grab a couple of strong antibiotics. One of those should be enough for her to get back on her feet. It’s probably going to take a few days though.”

Anya let out a relieved sigh and Lexa smiled happily. While Abby administered the meds, waking the little girl up, Anya turned to Lexa. “What was she talking about?”

“Who? When?” Lexa asked confused.

Anya narrowed her eyes at her best friend. “Dr. Griffin-“

“Abby, call me Abby,” the doctor interrupted while Tris was slowly taking the medicine. She handed her a glass of water that her mother had just brought. “Drink up, sweetie. It will do you good.”

“Lexa, did you steal medicines?” Anya finally asked.

Lexa glanced briefly at Anya’s parents, standing in the doorway and watching the doctor taking care of their little girl, their concerned expressions relaxing a little as Abby assured them their daughter would be okay. “I _tried_. Abby caught me and she decided to come here and help you.”

Anya smiled sweetly, which was rare for her. “You’re an idiot.”

“You’re welcome.” Lexa smirked, and Anya hugged her tightly. “I thought you would be mad at me for telling Abby.”

“I’m not. You did the right thing, and I trust her too.” The sleeve on Lexa’s left arm went up enough to reveal the bandage around it. Anya frowned. “What’s that?”

Lexa cleared her throat awkwardly. “Well, I kinda needed an excuse to be at the clinic, and I didn’t think of a better way.”

Anya sighed exasperatedly. “How many stitches?”

“Four,” Lexa answered, lowering her gaze.

“You’re such an idiot,” Anya huffed, before she hugged her again. “Thank you.”

After many thank you’s and promises that Abby could ask them anything if she ever needed something, Anya’s parents closed the door behind her and Lexa.

“Thank you, Abby,” Lexa said gratefully.

Abby rolled her eyes. “Oh no, not you too. I was just doing my job, healing people.”

“Still,” Lexa insisted. “You risked a lot today.”

“So did you,” Abby added, causing the brunette to chuckle.

“I guess I’m no good at making myself discreet, am I?” She joked.

Abby laughed and they soon parted ways, Lexa probably heading home, and Abby walking to her home too. Clarke was of course already home, but she was glad to see that her husband was too, and that dinner was ready.

“Finally!” Jake got up to peck her wife on the lips. “We were starting to get worried.”

“You wouldn’t believe what happened today,” Abby stated as she put her bag down and sat down at the table. Clarke looked up at her, slightly curious. “I caught Lexa trying to steal medicine at the clinic today.”

Clarke’s eyes widened in shock. “What? Why would she steal those? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, don’t worry. She just wanted to help Anya’s sister get some, because she was sick and that some stupid doctors said they couldn’t give any more antibiotics,” Abby replied and Jake only shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s why Anya wasn’t feeling great today,” Clarke mused. Then the realization of what her mother had sad hit her. “Did you help her? Even though you know having a sibling is against the rules?”

Abby smirked a little. “I figured you already knew about this.” She shook her head and looked at her daughter. “Yeah I helped her, after stitching Lexa up and after taking care of a few more patients, we stopped by Anya’s and I gave her the proper treatment. She’s going to need a few days to recover, but she should be fine.”

“I’m glad she’s gonna be okay.” Clarke frowned, concerned written all over her face. “Why would Lexa need stitches?”

“Well, your stupid friend needed an excuse to come to the clinic, and she thought that slightly cutting her forearm was the solution.”

Jake snorted next to them. “That doesn’t even surprise me. That girl doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything.”

_Except of her own demons,_ Clarke thought sadly. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Of course, it was superficial, but it still needed a few stitches.”

“How many?” Clarke asked her mom.

“Four.”

The blonde huffed. “You call that superficial?”

“Clarke, I’m telling you, she’s fine.” Abby was starting to get worried, because that glint in her daughter’s gaze, that glint she knew all too well. Her daughter had feelings for Lexa, and quite frankly, that scared the shit out of the doctor, because as much as she _loved_ Lexa, she knew the brunette was still healing from the tragedy that had happened almost three years ago now. She knew what Lexa had endured, and her daughter didn’t, at least, not all of it. Clarke’s love was all or nothing, she loved completely, or not at all, and the older woman was scared that it would backfire. As much as she knew that Lexa wouldn’t hurt her on purpose, she was still too broken to make her daughter happy, and the last thing Abby wanted was for her daughter – and Lexa –  to get hurt.

“Well, at least, let me go see her after dinner,” Clarke suggested, though it didn’t really sound like a suggestion.

Abby hesitated, but her husband answered for her. “Of course, sweetie.” Of course, Jake didn’t share her worries, he too didn’t realize what the brunette had been through, and if she warned Clarke about that, she might end up being seen as the bad guy, whereas she was just trying to look out for her daughter.

 

// 

 

“You really didn’t have to come.”

“Are you kidding?” Clarke flashed Lexa a pointed look. “You harm yourself on purpose and I shouldn’t be worried?”

Lexa sighed, dropping her gaze in the floor. “It’s not like that.”

“Really? Because you didn’t think of another way to get to the clinic?” Lexa looked up for a second before dropping her gaze again. She didn’t like what she saw in the blonde’s eyes. “Like, I don’t know, a stomachache or something?”

“I didn’t think before I acted, sorry.”

“No, _obviously_ you didn’t,” Clarke scowled. “Did you _want_ to harm yourself?”

“What?” Lexa instantly looked up. “ _No_!”

Clarke sighed in relief as she could see the sincerity in the brunette’s eyes. Her gaze landed on Lexa’s long sleeves that covered her arms. “Show me the wound.”

“Why?” Lexa narrowed her eyes.

“Don’t argue with me and just show me the wound!” Clarke snapped.

Lexa didn’t even blink an eye at her sudden outburst. She knew her friend was just worried about her, and she couldn’t blame her for that. She removed her jacket to reveal her injured forearm, though the blonde couldn’t really see because it was covered with a bandage. The blonde reached out and gently grabbed her forearm.

“Does it hurt?” She queried.

“A little,” the brunette winced as Clarke brushed her fingers on the bandage. She quickly removed them.

“Sorry.” Lexa only flashed her a reassuring smile, and after a brief pause, Clarke added. “It was incredibly selfless of you, what you did for Anya’s sister.” The blonde chuckled. “Incredibly stupid, but kind and selfless.”

The brunette stared intently at her, green eyes glowing in the darkness of her bedroom because her window was closed. “I’d do anything for my friends.”

Clarke found herself stuck for a minute, unable to avert her eyes, until she realized she needed to get home before she’d do something stupid herself. “I, uh, I have to go,” she stated as she made her way to Lexa’s front door, the brunette in tow.

“Yeah, goodnight, Clarke.”

The blonde faced her before opening the door and stepping outside, and when Lexa was about to close it, she put her hand on the door and softly kissed the brunette’s cheek. As she took a step back, she noticed the blush on Lexa’s cheeks, and she wondered what that meant. Probably nothing, as she had convinced herself of, lately. “Goodnight, Lexa.”

She turned around and started walking back to her home, unable to get the brunette out of her mind. She hadn’t been able to help herself. She had kissed her on the cheek, but that didn’t mean anything. Her plan was still in motion. She _needed_ to get over her, and what better way to do that than to ask someone else out, right? Right?

 

// 

 

On Friday morning, during first period, Lexa arrived quite early in class, but she smiled happily as she saw Clarke was already there. After that small kiss on the cheek the previous night, the brunette had figured, why not? Her feelings for Clarke were only growing, and this past few weeks she’d had the feeling that Clarke returned them, even though she had tried to convince herself otherwise. So she had decided that today was the day she would ask her out, finally. The Ark was organizing a sort of costume party the very same night, and Lexa figured it would be the perfect occasion. With all of their friends going as well, it wouldn’t seem too weird to ask her to go with her.

Her smile quickly faded though, when she saw that the blonde was talking to that hipster boy, _Finn_. Hadn’t the blonde said he was cute?

Going to sit at her desk, the brunette put her stuff down, and tried as hard as she could not to eavesdrop what was being said between the two of them. Total failure. And the brunette almost choked on her own breathing when she heard the blonde’s voice.

“Would like to go to that costume thing with me tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always welcome!  
> I appreciate each and every single one of you

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed, pls check out my [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/sophie31)


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